( "v" )~`LiNgLiNg>>>LyNniE bAby (",x)<<< ( "v" )

shifted!

2006-05-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

hey pple!

this is history.

check this out. hot stuff yeah.
www.missybitchjunkie.blogspot.com

edit ur links pls!
taa.

never felt more like a fool.

2006-04-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

i shall start my entry with this sentence-
everything happens for a better reason.

well, i was in the page which displays all my recent posts, and i realised tt the last entry was dated on 24th march. and its 11th april now. so I actually did not update on myself for 18 days. which is like.. um. 2 and a half weeks. whatever. what matters is tt im here now to share my life. with pple who care. (:

i feel like a a fool. the 1st time I ever felt so stupid in my life. seriously.
realizing tt struck me quite badly though.

constantly, I noe tt life is filled with ups and downs, having a dark side as well, but somehow it never occur to me tt human could be so evil. esp pple whom i noe, whom i tot was sincerely nice. never did it strike me tt all i see is jus surface matters. i was just some stupid fool living in my own perfect world of expecting nice pple revolving around me in my life.

i felt enlightened suddenly. when I found out some horrid stuff pple whom i noe was doing.. it really upsets me though. somehow, even though i should be, as I tot I should be more mad about the matter than being upset over it. it doesn’t really matter now, at least I saw through the fakes.

i never regretted tt unhappy or unfortunate things happen to me as i always learn from them, getting experiences from these really made me realised a lot of things i would never know it i never been through them. Thus it brings us back to my 1st sentence- everything happens for a better reason.

Had been living with a bitch for more than a sixth of my life, and stil counting on. Had been living through cheats and lies for a couple of months as well.

despite all the unhappiness, im stil so glad tt im back here with you my darling, right on xmas day. sweeping away all the cheats and lies right on xmas day could never been better before.

and I love you so.

do you believe in karma? i do. so if you’ve been doing evil deeds, pls try to do some good deeds to try redeeming and making up for them. if only the pple whom im referring to get to my words and know tt im referring to them. but one a 2nd thought, they are jus too incorrigible to think.

whatever i do, i’ve done nth wrong to myself, to my conscience, to heaven to earth.
sounds familiar? bullshit I call this.

shall not talk about the unhappy stuff.

laopo mailed me a letter with a pic attached. i jus received it jus now. felt really happy. its so sweet of u my dear. i miss u so much. the world out there is jus so freaky. i need you with me. no one, and i really mean no on can replace the place you stand in my heart and in my life.

will mail you back. nth can feel better then receiving a postage letter. the whole excitement of receiving till you feel tinges of sweetness when you peel open the seal and read the letter.

i miss my darling. going over his place in 3 hr’s time to have breakfast with him. (:

one thing for sure. trust no one to the exception of a few.

ciao.

argh.

2006-03-24T08:45:00.000-08:00

im really tired.
have got work tml but i really need to write this out.

im so pissed.
and nothing can satisfy me. period.

fuck to you.

you.

2006-03-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

im back! after disappearing for such a long time.

sorry lah! was busy working. and holiday-ing tt i haven got much time to even rest, let alone come online and blog.

anyway im working like quite often this month, in both far east and cine. no choice lahh. holidays gotta try to earn more money to save for the next sem. wahahaha. darling just got his pay on the 15th, and he bought me quite some stuff which satisfied me pretty much. -big grin-

i got a new pair of cute shades, a stuffed toy- a chipmunk. (i got chip, and dar said chip's the dumber out of the two), a new top, a nice set of lingerie, a new skirt. and he wanted to buy me new havaianas flipflops. mine isnt really in a bad state yet and i didnt feel tt the plain white one was worth the money so i told him its okay. he also wanted to get me this really really nice bikini from japan, selling at 99 bucks. was like wth! freaking daylight robbery. so i skipped tt as well. :) and im happy about not buying them. haha. :) imma good kid who saves money. wooah.

i love you darling.
im sorry for being extremely mean and saying those words to hurt you. i dont mean them. alright. :) sorry for showing my unpredictable moodswings. i still do love you. after all. :) and thanks for being really patient and for putting up with my moodswings.

i read some magazine and i spotted this really cute purse from LV. and i wan it! but it's sold out. damn. cos i wanted the one in fushia. argh. gotta wait till may then. :/ nvm. shall keep my eyes on a lookout for nicer wallets. :)

snowy jus had a haircut. poor lil thing. being botak makes her real skinny. haha. but i stil love her as much.

im sleepy. shall update again.

ciao.

you.

2006-03-08T06:44:00.000-08:00

the passion's fading.

and i dont know how much longer i can hold on.

fucking pissed. 1930

2006-03-08T03:08:00.000-08:00

i jus woke up an hour ago, and much much fury has built during the past hour.

fucking feel like stabbing someone. argh. like come on. think. think. think.

apparently, i was asked to play mahjong at my fren's place, by my bf's fren. get it? like duh. i was invited to play mahjong with my bf, his frens, and my fren, at my fren's place. and invitation by my bf's fren and my fren. i'd have jus exploded.

i am and stil is sms-ing with my bf, hearing no news from him about playing mahjong at all. like. ARGH. hello!? its at my fren's place. and everyone is like planning a mahjong session with me knowing it the last, and the most horrid part is tt the one who informed me wasnt my bf. argh. i so wanna slap someone.

worst of all, one of them is going w/o telling his or her girl/boy fren. and guess what? im so caught in the middle cos i know both of them. wtf. seriously. shit happens. shall not mention names to prevent any conflicts or whatsoever.

i so so need a break from all these. trying to be someone nice isnt really my cup of tea. and its fucking tiring without getting appreciated.

nvm. im not joining this fucking mahjong session cos i know im fucking gonna go there with a fucked up attitude trying to piss pple off. so, shall find my own programme or jus freaking stay at home.

got work tml. if im feeling bored later, shall blog again.

bye.

dawn break. 0441

2006-03-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

im sitting in the living room staring blankly at the tv screen broadcasting chelsea and barcelona's live match. feeling kinda emo suddenly. like somehow, something's amiss.

things are just moving with time, but i feel that i haven moved or done much.

and, i feel tt i've disappointed many pple. like. firstly, my parents. i mean, look at how long haven i gone home. 3 days. i made them really worried. they are the ones im depending on. and i get a freaking 1k from them every mth. even more i daresay. but from what im doing, im practically treating my house as a hotel and my parents as ATM machines. am i no better than my brother? tt fuckass kept sucking money from my parents, despite the fact tt they bought him a car. at his age of 18. wth. forget about tt man. i seriously need to like be more disciplined and get my fucking ass home early. or home at least.

:( next, weisheng. many things i've done are out to spite him. perhaps it has sth to do with my character as i've been pampered from young. and with my birth order, the youngest child, often i get everything i want. so alas, these are the reasons to my evil doings. but i need to be loved. i noe u do too, but.. okay no more buts. perhaps time will solve this problem for us. because once we start, we'll never come to an end. but please, dont shake me so hard. it hurts. my arms and hands are bruised. but never as bruised as how my heart is when u are so rough to me. i am and will try to be not so spiteful next time. okay.. sigh.

for many many others whom i've disappointed, u noe who you are. im terribly sorry. perhaps its jus plain unlucky i've stepped into ur lives. but.. somehow i still wish u guys aint giving up on me quite yet. bcos i'll try to be a better person. :)

sigh. i wonder wats with me and my unpredictable emotions. jus wanna scream and shout in anger, and laugh in the next sec, with a sudden cringe, i'll jus start tearing. god. im a weirdo. meow. =p

i cant slp lahh! haven been slping according to the morning=work/play, night=sleep routine. well. hols jus started so i can afford to do tt. perhaps i'll try to slp earlier and eventually when sch reopens, my body clock is back to normal. :)

okay. its turning five. im gonna call weisheng and tell him im gonna slp. dont say im mean! he wants me to call him b4 i slp. who knows im slping so erm. early. =p

very good morning to everyone. :) taa.

mahhhh-jong lahh fuck! =p 0159

2006-03-07T09:10:00.000-08:00

haven blogged for so many days cos i was playing mahjong probably like 12 hours daily. okay. 12 hours is pretty exaggerated, but somewhere around there lah.

the end of medsoc final exams marks the start of my long awaited holidays, but it also mean the end of my school term with the t105/110 peeps. i dont wanna split with the class, especially nana. :/ she's like the one who's pushing me to work hard, to do well.. and shushu. :/ i need them. another person in the class who've help me freaking alot is chengwei. thanks. the rest of the class were very nice too. i jus cant bear to part with all of them. aww. :(

sth consoling was tt i've managed to get 72 for my marketing final common test! omg. so freaking glad lah. :)

anyway, i've been hanging out with maggie's sister for quite some days. :) she's a pretty nice girl. same age as jessie. 16 this year. 2nd person who's younger than me whom i can click well with. heh. she has the same birthday as my dad! ha. celebrated her bdae at her mom's pub, and celebrated my dad's bdae at east coast park. had seafood. superb! haha. i feel fat. =p

stayed with ta dar for like so many days alr. mom and dad miss me like mad. i feel so.. guilty. :(
but here i am! home sweet home. with snowy beside me. waahh. feels like heaven. okay im a lil insane now. :p

i've starting working on fri. ha. had enough rest lahh. and im so so fucking broke. think i'll be working 3 to 4 days every week from now. :) and stupid ben jus gave me my pay like on sunday! haha. and today's the 7th. late for one mth! asshole.

i felt so unloved by mister new ytd tt i cried. argh. :( KANNINABEH! =x
and he shook me so hard jus now tt i fell. :( we're jus like lil kids always squabbling in public. argh. damn. now i've got blue blacks cos i fought with him. think im violent. haha.
but our fights always made us learn more.

we played fighting game on his computer jus now. whahaha. think must be after playin den we wanna be like the characters in the game. omg. cant believe im saying these. wahahaha. okay. he's snoring away now. asshole. but i think its my fault lah. i always take up the whole bed. =p

i miss you
mister new. :)

the morning after.

2006-02-21T22:58:00.000-08:00

jus woke up. slept till 2.
i jus lay there, until my mom shook me up.
and my eyes stil hurt.

i haven got the mood to do much anyway. jus wanna go back to sleep.

i'll be studying tonight with simin. medisoc's final test is worth 40 percent. argh. its giving me so much pressure. :/

pls do not hurt yourself. because it pains me to see you do so.

and i still love you so.

the letdown. 04:40

2006-02-21T12:25:00.001-08:00

heart wrenching night.

tears.
tears.
and more tears.

not feeling any better from those monstrous menses cramps. and yet we had another major argument.

i was terrified by my own doings. i wailed and banged and kicked. to the expense of bodily pains. but yet i couldnt control them.

everything i've done was unappreciated. every gentle reminder jus got violent. every other reminders become reminders of my good doings. every other bits of love, care and concern are all nothing. oh lord, tell me what to do. please. just to stop my heart from feeling so broken up inside. crying my eyes out doesnt have any effect on his most feeling organ. to have always been the lousiest, the worst ever, knowing tt even if i put in my everything, i'll never hit the lowest point of providing happiness is driving me to my end. others made me feel tt i am flawless, tt i am very appreciated, tt i am the best they could ever get. but now, i jus feel like im worth nothing. despite the most horrible feeling ever, all i wan and all i need in my life is you. just you. no one else. goodbye. is tt what's gonna happen everytime sth major comes up? we've not grown much after all, have we? perhaps.

my eyes hurt so badly tt they barely can open. im feeling so depressed. i just wish myself dead.

and i love you so.

good night.

hush baby, dont cry. 14:16

2006-02-20T22:04:00.000-08:00

hello.

had marketing final test ytd. felt tt it was pretty okay lah. think i'll pass. :) hopefully. haa. wellwell. i went for a hair cut ytd, but i dun feel like there's much of a difference lahh. jus less thick. anyway i must comment about the hairdresser. god she is sooo unprofessional! she washed my face instead of my hair. haha. no lah. lotsa water fell onto my face. argh.

i read nana and shushu's blog jus now. i dont want shushu to cry. :( sigh. i noe i cant do anything about it, but i hope she'll be much much better, because i always believe tt things happen for a better reason. jus now in the past when i broke up with weisheng, i kept on believing tt its for a better reason, and here it is. we're back together, and much better den before. shushu, if u are reading this, i jus wanna tell u u're really really really nice, and i love u. (:

gonna go out meet kx and xinle soon. their 18th bdae. :) jy'll join us slightly later cos shehas class. well. it'll be fun, minus my cramps. argh. :/

dun wanna blog anymore. cramps are hurting real bad.

so much for my complaints against weisheng. :/ gonna be nicer to him.-big grin-
and i love u dar.

byebye. haha. meow.

and i miss you. 21:14

2006-02-19T03:13:00.006-08:00

im watching taiwanese drama again! im soo so addicted to it lahh. haha. okayokay! i noe im supposed to be studying marketing lahh. but i promise to read it thoroughly tonight. (:

was pretty upset with weisheng this morning. i noe tt it is very tiring for him to cope the final sch term as well as working 4 days every week, but i just cant understand why he doesnt get the point tt it is a responsibility tt he had given to the company for his work schedule. i mean, who would really want to work if they have a chance not to? who wants to go to work after a night out? i experienced all these unwillingness but still, i forced myself up and travel down to work, even from his place.

sometimes, i jus wished he wouldnt be so moody. it jus makes me feel so helpless.

should i shouldnt i go to bb mac's to study marketing with nana and shushu? hmm. am so freaking lazy to move. :/ nvm. shall slack at home 1st. hahaha.

i miss my darling. :( sigh. stil got another hour's time before he ends work. wellwell. :(

i wish i wish i wish.. i can take away all darling's unhappiness. :/ anyway im not feeling any much better when im reminded tt i will not get any income this mth. argh. gonna stuff my ATM card in my drawer from today onwards and start saving everyday.

i really really miss u my darling. :(

gonna study for marketing now. byee.

let's par-tay! Saturday, 18th Feb 2006, 17:04

2006-02-18T01:02:00.000-08:00

i jus woke up. -big grin-

ha. feel damn happy to be able to sleep so much. anyway im pretty worried about darling. :/ he haven been sleeping well these days. work and final exams are killing him. :( he jus took his paper this morning. hopefully he managed it well. heh. we slept at 5 plus ytd cos we were watching my fave taiwan drama; tian guo de jia yi. [my fave for now =x]

he was really worried and upset with me ytd because i went to MOS w/o telling him until i met him at somerset mrt. =X he was on his way home from work and i was walking towards cine. and i feel so bad now. sorry dar. :( im a mean girl. sigh.

anyway MOS was a big disappointment. to me i should say. there was like a really long Q, but when i actually step in, it wasnt as great as i tot it would be. hmm. sigh.

okay i g2g. meeting weisheng in town. and we're gonna eat buffet at yao qing's place. his big day. heh. think i might meet simin later too, after her work. :)

byee.

happy spell.

2006-02-16T22:24:00.000-08:00

not feeling much better this morning. :/ my tummy stil hurts.

then, an sms came in tt cheered me up. i've got an A for my media critique. the one i did with nana. :) first A in some school work.

dun feel like blogging no more.

taa.

i hate you.

2006-02-16T06:57:00.000-08:00

feeling really down. :/

im bleeding. and terribly in pain. my tummy hurts. but i haven studied anything for marketing tonight. sigh.

no matter how much physical pain i suffer from doesnt beat the emotional pains im feeling right now. apparently, my boyfriend claimed tt he is broke, yes i noe he is after spending extravagantly on vday, but he was at B.K with his fren after work. okay. understandable tt his fren gave him a treat with a promised one returned tml. but then again. whats with going to a bar with his buddies. to free himself from stress he received from me. ouch. tt slapped me right in my face.

it doesnt pay tt much for being mean at times, right. adding on to the fact tt i am not feeling okay. how great tt is.

and look. compromise. yes i've done it. buddies you haven met up for a long time. isnt linda my good old bud i haven talked to for like ages. but i still listened and skipped the karaoke session bcos i noe you wouldnt be happy about it. and fucking hell the bar's full of bitches.

when things hit this stage, i realised i haven got a say in it anymore.

im hitting the clubs tml. so there.

loved.

2006-02-15T07:55:00.001-08:00

wahahaahaha.
omgomg. im back. (:

and presenting..
a new blog skin! ha. so how does it look? am i freaking you out? haha. =P

life has never been better before living under the good hands of mister new. (: feel so loved. though i noe i've been grumbling non stop to him tt i haven been feeling his love recently. okay. my bad. :/ but sometimes im really horrible. but heyhey. im trying lahh. hhrmph.

my last entry was dated 8th of january 2006. been like ages since i last updated. more than a month. hmm guess i was really busy with work, and sch stuff. all my weekends are burnt for work, and the other days are packed with classes and projects, esp the major Apple proj tt we've managed to survive. and we've got our grade for graphcom! B+. pretty okay. im kinda guilty cos i haven really done as much as what others in the grp did. bcos i was tied down with writcom. but tt doesnt give me a right to not contribute as much as they did, though all of they were real nice. (: so thankful to be with them for this. love you guys, Effervescence Inc.

work was like really really hectic bcos of CNY. sales was like really good cos everyone was rushing like mad for their clothes. and guess what? MYSTIZ managed to hit our target, and we all get 3% for our commission. woot. and not to mention our CNY bonus. ha. i've got 168. ssshh. haha. pretty satisfied about it. (: yay. love my boss so freaking much.

lets see. shall talk a lil about CNY.

Day one. grandpa's place in the morn, den to amara hotel for buffet lunch, dar's grandma's place for mahjong, big aunt's place for steamboat dinner, des's place for mahjong.

Day two. uncle's place in the morn, fish and co at changi aiport for lunch (dun ask me why changi airport; mom and dad's fave hangout. haha), marina, mahjong at home with bro and his fren

Day three. boon haur's place in the early afternoon, coach's place in late afternoon, and i watch i not stupid too with dar at cine.

the end for CNY. haha. =P

next. announcement to make.
IM OFFICIALLY NOT WORKING FOR THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY 2006. :) date me out pple.

dar's working at calvin klein's fragrance counter at robinsons and OG albert park. pls give support. :) haha.

last major event: vday 2006
hmm. wait a min. let's talk about the day b4. the day tt i got my present for dar. ha. ok lahh i noe im last min. but at least im not late okay. i went heeren, PS, cine, far east and penisular plaza in search of the perfect pair of shoes okay.. and i found it at last. (: satisfied. before tt i met up with jason, my boss lah, for lunch. at crystal jade. yay. his treat. ate dim sum. yum. den we went to pazzion at wisma. his fren's shop. liked 2 pairs of shoes, but they dont have it in my size. damn. okay nvm. weisheng and my mom's gonna kill meif i get another pair. note:i've jus packed my shoe rack and realised i have a total of 27 pairs of shoes. yes kill me. haha. so we walked through tang's, and there was this counter outside with guess watches. and guess what?

knock knock.
who's there?
guess.
guess who?
i've got a new guess watch!

haha. okay tts so not funny. jason bought me a watch for my bdae last year. haha.
quoted from him: "you're always late for work, so ur present also late".
wth! haha. nvm better late den never.

vday was spent at a restaurant beside tao's at selegie. the ambience was pretty okay. but the food was terrific. (: simple dinner yet it means so much. cost about 90 odd bucks but its okay lah. vday what.. haha. happy bday pple. i love you darling.

okok. im tired. weisheng's prolly snoring his way away. and i miss him. heh. tml we're gonna mug together. applaud pls. thank you for ur support. ahaha.

oh yes. before i end my entry, i would like to tell everyone a story, about a lil boy by the name of Aw Cheng Wei...

once upon a time, there lived a lil boy by the name of aw cheng wei. he was born on 31st august 1988, 4 years after new weisheng was born. he tried to lie to new weisheng tt he has 6th sense tt tells him tt they were born on the same day, but he failed. from young, chengwei's nickname was bad liar. [hahaha]

and then there was this very day, chengwei went to a restaurant to have dinner with his dad. so lame dad! so lame! can i have a lame chop? take the lame away. cool man! watever~ chengwei said. den suddenly, he ask the waiter if they had sheep chop. [hahahaha]

end of story.

knowledge learnt:
sheep- woolly usually horned ruminant mammal related to the goat
lamb- A young sheep, especially one that is not yet weaned.

moral of the story: DO NOT BE LAME.

specially dedicated to mister Aw Cheng Wei. it all started with yes sir yes sir 3, i mean 4 bags full of marketing ppt. =x

botak.

2006-01-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

heys.

stupid. im in lecture. seriously i must say its true tt i only blog when either im bored, or when im feeling moody. haa. im feeling damn sleepy. and i feel like shitting. wahahaha. sigh. dunno wat to write. im still hating sch. i wanna have hols! aaahhh!

i'll try to recall wat i've been doing for the past few days lahh. :) quick quick say im nice. okay. last week was really loaded. damn stressed up. got training on tue, but the weather was so freeeeaking irritating, so we did not have training. waste my time. haa. wed was free. oops. did i say free? =X think i slept through wed lah.

was supposed to acc alvin bro for his big day which was on 6th Jan, fri, but i totally forgot about the whole date, and was scheduled to work. felt damn guilty lor. so i skipped writcom tutorial after my consultation for graphcom and met him in town. we went shopping and then for high tea at phoenix hotel. ha. =) jadey came slightly later, den the 3 of us went to heeren to take some pics. heh.

and.. it was RAINING again! so i didnt go for training either cos i dun wanna make another wasted trip lah. hai. but who knows, they had proper training cos the rained stopped. ARGH. anyway i urgently need to get my bball shoes. IVP's starting in like.. erm. 2 days? wahahha.

okay. then on thu, i met dar at batok after i spent the day with my two idiots. studied at batok till about 2am. no choice lah. u think im so hardworking meh? haa. marketing test on sat, and i've got work on fri. damn pissed with my messed up schedule.

reached medsoc class at 915. wahhahaha. on the dot okay! den chiong to work. sigh. after work i was walking and saw ben and his primary sch frens. omg! haha. den we went to pastamania for dinner. knew a girl who's currently working at open up. :) tiffany. yepp. we 2 damn talkative lahh. den all of us headed home sharing a cab. stupid benny went to play mahjong with chou and loser gang. haa. :) too bad i have test. ARGH!

nvm. dar came over and "studied" with me. yeahh right. he slept through the whole "studying session" lahh! he was at halo drinking with his classmates till he got tipsy. asshole.

managed to crawl to sch the next morning and completed my marketing test. though i noe exactly how disastrous my results would be. den. work again. damn alot of pple on sat lah.. haha. long Q to try clothes. :) -beams- yay!

and sat's finally over! felt really glad. dar came for me after work and we walked to cine to check shows out. and stupid bobby made me do some stupid favour for him. darn shall not say wat he made me do, though seriously its damn STUPID. haa. met jiaxin mummy and went back to far east and kelvin came pick us up. we went to pick yonghui and then we went to geylang for frog porridge. wahhhhaaa. yum. :)

and jason and zhiwei still owe me supper. =P

billiard is so not my type of game. :/ we went queenstown pool and billiard centre. i was more interested in playing the arcade game machines. haha. :) it was already 5 when we headed home.

was a really scary ride. everyone was so tired, and kelvin was sleeping! haha. we flew at 2 or 3 humps, and bumped into the road barrier along the expressway. but we still got home safely. :) i went over to dar's place and same routine happened. wash up, change, and slp. only difference, dar had some space to slp. unlike last week when i took over the whole bed. wahahha. =P

i woke up at 1340. dar was outside alr, cos he had to collect sth from the sports school. im left home alone with dar's mummy. heh. i slacked there till he came home den we showered and went to causeway to meet des for lunch.

i went home at 11 plus. tired. fell asleep almost immediately. zZz.

im feeling damn cold and there goes my mood of blogging. haa.

byee pple. :)

since then..

2006-01-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

has been quite some time since i blogged. sigh. life's getting really hectic for me recently. :/

well. forget about the business part for now. shall talk about x'mas and new year. heh. :) both x'mas eve and new year's were on saturdays, and conclusion of this sentence is-- i had to work. argh. could u believe it?! darn. nvm. i could earn money instead of squeezing with the crowd. :) think positive! haha.

ok. x'mas eve.. definitely an unforgettable one. met up with the 2 kevins, terence, andrew, audrey, wennie, and i forgot wats his name. we hung around at town 1st, bought spray, sprayed and got sprayed at. ha. they are so mean lahh! they aimed at the bangalas. so horrible. =P but it was freaking funny. when we were approaching wisma it was really squeezy. i felt tt a stampede almost happened. seriously! not exaggerating okay. :/ i was shoved and stepped on. damn. haa.

saw maggie honey and gang, den we headed down to boat quay to drink. :) went to this pubtt we had to enter from the back alley. damn stupid. luckily for e dirty toilet, i managed to bump into jieying at chocolate bar. and! i brought her and her fren weiting back to the pub the rest were at. heh. we had quite some pple so we opened a bottle of chivas and a bottle of martell. everyone was like so damn high lah. i rmb andrew was freaking drunk. haa.

all the drinking jus makes me wanna pee. so i headed off to the toilet near the petrol station. and. was there alone, feeling damn emotional. :/ guess where i end up at? chalet at downtown east. with mr new. and. it happened. right on x'mas day. peeps. im taken. :)

wellwell. during the few days before new year, i hung out with irene and gang quite alot. :) they rented a car and we went to newton for supper and queenstown for billiard (i din noe tt place existed). haa. dar drove me home. -big grin- and on friday, i sat on a pig's car. omgomg! haha. k lah dun be mean. kelvin drove us to geylang to eat and to cosy bay to chill. heh.

new year's eve. hmm. we went to clarke quay chinaone. went drinking again. haa. and i stayed over with dar. and went to tung lok in the afternoon to have family lunch. dimsum! :) absolutely irresistible. haa. den i went shopping with mymom, auntie and uncle. they really walk damn slow lor. aha. okok its me who's too excited. =P met dar and shopped ard town till irene and ken came and fetch us.

irene's dad is soooo umm. IGNTS. haha car plate number 69. how.. umm. nvm. i cant think of the right words to say. haa. yepp we had dinner at sakura at toa payoh and went halo bar to.. DRINK. damn. its like.. besides drinking, i drink, and i drink, and i still.. drink. dammit lah. i need to stop. haa. bad for health.

had some midnight madness in sch though. haa. pretty exciting. =X was feeling really tired so dar drove me home earlier too. :) haa. and now. im struggling with my hmwk. shall stop here.

taa.
love, lynniiees. :)

2005-12-18T01:57:00.000-08:00

here i am once again, with shits i wanna vent out.

at this moment, im pondering over this subject -how many pple actually stumble upon my blog and is disappointed to find out tt i haven had new posts? and how many pple out there are actually interested and concerned with my life? sigh. these thoughts jus make me wanna cry.

everything's driving me crazy. i thought sch shits were over. not quite yet. i have webgraph test on tue, and medsoc test on fri. god. and i've still got work. haven quite completed my paraessay yet. cos of some dumbfuck reasons. and work schedule is killing me too. sudden need for me to work is freaking stupid. it jus makes me darn guilty bcos i have other programs or bcos im too tired. cant get my priorities right. and i've so much i wanna do. and im always complaining i dont have time. bullshit i say. it jus me, me and me who cant do the right things at the right time.

i've always thought im an extrovert. but look at the way i vent my frustrations out -blogging. im writing out my anger rather den talking it out. wats happening. am i turning into an introvert? no. definitely not. and i know the reasons behind it all. i wan you to read my frustrations. i wan you to be the one who always make me feel better no matter how terrible things are going.

i feel so stupid. sometimes i hate myself to be such an ass. viewing my good old buds' blogs always makes me freaking emo. i miss everyone. "come back to my life", i wanna shout. but i noe its stupid. and impossible.

everytime whenever i feel down, you're the one tt comes into my mind. you always have your way to make me feel happier. even when you dont speak no more, even when i dont hear you no more, even if i cant see you no more, placing you on my mind when im not feeling well stil makes me better. darling, i miss you so. and finally the egoistic me admits to this.

life's pretty tough. i've got to feel guilty when i cant help pple. i've got to be nice to certain pple when i dont wish to. i've got to set my priorities right. i've got to think so much. i've got so much to fret about for other pple when i've enough shits myself.

well. i feel better after i've blogged. perhaps tts bcos my mood changes so quickly even i cant adapt to it. im heading out. :) thanks pple. for listening to my shits.

the same old saying- life goes on.

haa. and im the happy girl again.

love,
lynnlynn.

2005-12-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

been coughing non stop for several weeks alr. damn. wish sth would jus strike on me and cure me of this sickening cough. =/

right.. im feeling darn hot now. watching tv and blogging. i can multi task. -big grin- was supposed to meet ah mei and simin at town today, but i was simply too lazy to move. sigh. i mean. come on. i wonder wats wrong with me.

well, i jus din wanna move. its like i go to sch like 5 days a week, work for 2 days. i jus need to rest on sunday. tts all. =/

and i am stil coughing. its killing me. watever shit virus this is. it better be gone soon. i wanna be alive and kicking pple's arses hard again. muhaahaha. im evil. =X

sigh. still got sch at 8 tml. ARGH. i fucking hate sch lahh. yes yes. i always hated sch. =/ naa would prolly ask me to quit sch and be a sweeper. haha. knn.

and. i realised sth. i only blog when im bored. or when im feeling emo. but nevertheless, blogs are a good way to vent my frustrations. =) or to inform pple whom i din have time to actually talk to or meet up with.

no worries. this entry is done purely outta boredom. =)

i need help.

SOMEONE CURE ME OF MY FREAAKING COUGH. PLS.

aiight. shall end here.
byee.

truckload of love,
lynniiees.
muah muah. =)

untitled

2005-11-28T01:36:00.000-08:00

and. i miss you. my darling.

2005-11-24T02:30:00.000-08:00

im jus sitting here.. staring blankly into my laptop's screen. feel so lost suddenly.

and i miss kevin. :/ thinkin about it. he had had been the pillar in the life for the past few mths. and im thankful for tt. though i never said to him once tt i appreciate him and everything he did for me, i really do appreciate him. and i think he prolly could guess tt. he saw through everything on my mind and in my heart. he did.

ah wei. i jus wanna tell u im sorry if sometimes i yell a lil too loudly or screamed at u for every lil thing im annoyed at. even if its not ur fault. i noe u noe tt im a girl with a super big ego, and i wouldnt apologise even if i realise tt its my fault. but.. yeah. still, sorry. sigh.

suddenly, sth struck me. and i need u right now. but i jus yelled at you and din understand tt u're tired. sigh.

still got writcom tml. sigh sigh sigh. think im gonna slp soon.
anyway i went out with ben jus now. we watched dragon squad. pretty nice thriller. totally action packed. yepp.

oh yepp i went out with alv bro ytd. damn fun to go out with him. i bought adidas sneakers. yay. took some photos too. haven got them from him yet. but soon. so glad for him tt his exams're over. and he finally has time to date joy out. how erm. joyful? haha. =) he's gonna bury himself with work again! damn! haha.

bye pple.
will update again.
loves, lynniees.

2005-11-21T09:08:00.000-08:00

ADOI!

im in stupid writcom lecture. with yandao azhar. he made me write this. hahaha. okok. im damn pissed off. still hating sch as ever. haha. pat wong's like saying the same old jokes the 2nd time. think he prolly memorised his jokes. =X wahahaha. ok shut up lynn.

hmm. ytd i was half doing my hmwk and half talking to ah wei. its really amazing how ah wei's brains work. seriously. nvm. somehow.. i felt sth i had never felt for a long time. shall not cont about it.

gonna have a long day today. :/ argh! one hr break and we have medsoc later at 11. damn screwed up lah my timetable. 8-10 writcom. 11-1 medsoc. 3-4 gracom. 4-6 marketing. argh!!! shoot me! someone shoot me pls. i wanna slp. sigh.

ok. haha. shall stop here cos im gossiping with jy and xinle. =)

taa.
lynniees.

2005-11-21T00:11:00.000-08:00

heyhey!

i jus came home. went to bp plaza with dad and mom to have dinner. ah wei went to have his precious hair cut and came down join us. =) damn full. hur.

mom and dad went buy some stuff and went home while i went to lot1 with wei. heh. we went to play pool. damn boring lah. but better den going home so early. so crap. i ran up all the way home and tried to hide from him but i was caught in the act of hiding. damn! ahha. freeeaking funny lah. (:

im like blogging but hogging on the phone with ah wei. poor him. he can only hear me typing and breathing and my background music playing. ahaha. stop being so evil can lynn. =X

ok. tml stil got sch. damn pissed lahh! nvm.

and alv bro! the pic u submitted in frenster is so gross lah! omg! cant believe u or jade actually snapped tt pic of mine. eek. haha. u better delete it! hhrmph. okok. shall stop here. i'll date u this week ok. umm muah.

shall stop here. anyway im so proud of myself! i haven been using my ATM card for 2 weeks! omg! 2 whole weeks ok! and i've saved 50 bucks! heh. =P

see ya pple.
lovelove,
lynniees.

2005-11-17T23:26:00.000-08:00

hello.

im in graphcom now! haha my 1st time using an apple computer. omg! loser man. =P its damn nice lah the lesson. choy kok kee doesnt even give a damn when we walk in at 0930 lah! poor ah wei. his stupid advisor ah.. damn mean. ahha. yepp.

we're still working on photoshop. damn fun lah. i never knew it could do so much. well. come on. i always suck at things to do with computers. =X hmm yeahh.

gonna lunch with drew and shu i think. they haven got locvid today. hmm. wellwell. i dun even have locvid. sigh. i've got writcom. dammit. sigh. 3-6. its like killing me lah. nvm. i'll be meeting my grp members at 1 to do the stupid presentation. =/ the rest of them got lessons at 1-3. mine starts at 3! ass. anyway my shoes are like damn wet lah. smelly. haha aud is complaining about it. oie! not like wanted it right. hhrmph.

hungry. dunno wat to eat later. had sushi jus now. ya. stupid ah wei'll prolly start mocking my my fave. the stupid 8 legged creature tt doesnt noe how to walk properly. =P heh. jus had my pills. eek. sucky. damn gross lah.

met up with alv bro ytd! with jadey. ahaha finally da 3 idiots on a date. yay. alv gonna finish his exams alr. we're gonna hang out next week again! -bigbig grin- we went marina square ytd and had carl's jr. for dinner. haha. den we went to play pool. 7-ft pool table. kns. aha. and.. played arcade. and.. and.. hmm i cant rmb. walked ard, ate italian ice cream. tts about all. short but fun lah. we talked alot. crapped alot. =) yepp.

okok think i'll end here for now. happy cos i dun have sch tml! but im sian cos i got work tml. im working at far east D.I tml. and sat. wonder who im working with. hope it'll be shirley on sat. well. yepp.

byebye.
love,
lynniees.

2005-11-16T22:27:00.000-08:00

heyheyhey. sups.

haha im sitting at batok mac at the moment. doing my stupid hmwk for marketing. its driving me crazy!!! im like half done now lah. heh. today was a bad day. i got mc but i stil went to sch. unbelievable right? sigh. nvm i guess i dun wanna talk about today.

kk. no time to waste on blogging. shall do my hmwk. im gonna make sure im a good girl from now on.

bleh.

much love,
lynnlynn.

2005-11-11T01:44:00.000-08:00

feeling real rotten now. esp for the past few days.

mom's not feeling well. think she'll need an operation some when mid of next yr.
failed writcom and my new class is a real bore.
dread sch.
dread work.
my family is pretty screwed. yes. its my brother again.
im fat.
i need time.

i feel i jus wanna break free from all these. but somehow i jus cant do so. i noe myself best. i lack in discipline. moreover i've got so many peers tt always hang ard town late. damn. wat am i to do.

somehow i feel tt im really pessimistic in love. in relationships. in life. somehow i said. im usually like happy go lucky and i dun give a damn kinda gurl. but some part deep down in my heart i feel rotten at times. i think quite alot.

i expect alot from pple. and i cant stand pple who cant keep up to my high and some unreasonable expections. once, someone asked me this. y do u expect so much from this person. is he/she like obliged to do things for u and stand ur absolutely horrible attitude? do u noe he/she is being nice enough to do so for u, and he/she can choose not to bother about u at all
? this qn shut me and left me to think for quite some time.

i get annoyed and irritated very easily, yes i do noe tt. i get real frustrated whenever every teeny lil thing goes slightly out of track. and im trying hard to stop this terrible habit of screaming my head off pple and venting my frustrations on pple alr. im trying. im trying. really. but i need some time. to get myself off these shits.

i haven really officially been in a relationship for quite some time. and im not really anticipating to get into one. im quite fickle about it though. i mean its like.. i've been like saying i dun wanna get myself attached and getting into a relationship, but i've alr formed some kind of relationship when i said tt previous sentence. get it? sigh.

well well. i was scanning through frenster. and i happened to view some frens of my frens. most of them are my colleagues or ex colleagues' frens. those typical ah lians and ah bengs. yes pls dun stereotype me as one of them pls. thanks. the testimonials the lians and bengs left for their gf/ bf are horrendous and seriously immature.

it looks somehow like tt--

dArdAr**~

sO fAsT 1 wEeK sIncE wE tOgEtHeR lE wOr. sO hApPy lEh. rEalLy hApPy tO bE wItH yOu nOr. wE wIlL lAsT fOreVeR aNd eVeR. i lOvE eUuu sO sO mUcH! i aM nOt uR fIrSt gIrLgIrL bUt wILl bE tHe lAsT oNe oKiE.. mIsS eUu sO mUcH. mUaCkS!

``uR dEaR dEaR*~

it made me go like wtf.

seriously. they should like get a grip. get a life. no. actually they should get EDUCATED.

right. i feel like damn mean lah. so sarcastic for wat. meanie.

nvm. yeahh. good things dun last. well. maybe they do. but u jus gotta be like god damned lucky to get 'em. these lians and bengs have no brains. one week is long to them. jus a week and they are naive enough to think they'll last till marriage. fuck u all lahh. =X

back to the part on expectations.. ok i noe i suck in writing tts probably why i failed writcom. i cant get my ideas neatly organised in paragraphs but who cares. yeahh. expectations are i was saying. hmm. sometimes i look at those pple who low education. and i think. sometimes it'd be nice to be easily contented. but then again. i rather i stay like myself. =)

so no worries pple out there who care for me, despite all my shits and thinking, im still the same old crazy lynn ard. i still love being myself. :)

i had shits today. and i kinda half vent it out on wei. he was really nice. telling me stuff. saying he'd stand by me and make me feel better. but i guess my words were too harsh. i told him tt it doesnt matter if he'd stand by me cos i noe pple come and leave. its jus momentarily tt one particular person is ard. from my understanding, i think this slapped him hard right on his face. im sorry ah wei. if u're reading this.

laopo told me this. dont start when u can see the end. yes dear. i need u so badly. i wished we still sit beside each other, sharing our gossips and tales in class. dear. work hard alright. i noe we're of quite similar character. damn slack and playful. but we think quite alot. and some sort will still push ourselves in the end to meet up to the requirements. and my dear. im proud of u. and i can see and noe tt u'll make it big in future. really. i salute u with respect. never will we be able to sit beside each other in class and do all the silly things we did, but they'll always be a part in me. =) same goes to ting. i've always been so proud of you. so sure and confident in everything u do. u're e kinda gurl tt guys are afraid of. cos u proved to 'em tt they've got balls but tt doesnt make them any smarter. :) A B C D E O F. haha. i think tts the correct order. =X

wow. jus realised this is a damn long entry. alright man. gotta end here.

taa.
lynnie*-

2005-11-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

hello.

wahahahaha. im back. 've been MIA for soooo freaking long. kinda busy with work and sch jus started last week so i've got like lotsa stuff to catch up on. damn tired too.

im in this web graphing lesson. kinda fun lah. the teacher's from finland. i think. i din really catch wat he said. =X oopsie. feeling really cold. but thanks to wei's sweater. i feel better. =P

ok i cant wait for sch to end! im gonna get my new cell phone. finally. =) anyway i failed one module, writcom, and it pissed me off alot. argh. damn pek chek. but wat to do. hhrmph. nvm.

sch is seriously boring. i hate sch! thank god for my classmates or i'll jus lay dead. :/
but then again. im damn annoyed by this program. hah. i suck at computer stuff. o jus cant seem to get the stupid picture out. adobe photoshop. argh!!! i need help! its killing all my brain cells. heh.

its 12 only. damn. we've still got till 1 before i can actually grab brunch. :/ sigh. wei jus msged. asshole. all his stupid lectures and tutorials damn slack. but he got a yellow card. wahahha. stupid.

i dun feel like going this stupid thing anymore. hah. i jus wanna sit here, blog, and countdown to break time. =P heh. anyway i skipped quite alot of lessons and got away with it! hahaha. im so evil. i promised to work harder this sem. well well.pple DO change. =P

canteen 3. here i come!!! hahaha. alritey! shall blog when i feel like blogging again. i miss everyone! lemme name few tts on my mind right now. -grins-

here i go.

laopo
xiaowen
ue
ting
wanmei
suxian
carmen
all bballers
jieying
kaixian
xinle
amanda
jeannie ahmei
shirley
felicia

no time to cont lah. argh. gotta complete it!

to be cont...

hahaha. wtf.
taa.
lynnie baby. <3

2005-10-25T01:29:00.000-07:00

hey pple.

haven blogged for like damn long. wondering where've i gone to huh.. hmm. haven done much lah recently. its hols but its like damn boring. i haven stayed home at all. :/ town is where i head to everyday. for play, for work, for shopping trips, for movies, for chilling and watsoever. or i'll head to pple's place to drink or mahjong sessions. chalets aint exciting anymore.

dad's kinda annoyed tt i've been reaching home in the morning almost everyday. wellwell. life's a bore. imma no lifer.

bro jus got married on 22nd, sat. are u all surprised? yeahh he is married now. like seriously. im not kidding. married at 18 yrs of age. and u prolly noe the reason for this. :)

haven got much to say lah anyway. sch's starting. argh. this fact pisses me off badly. :/

will update again. i miss 07 pple. and e sch time we had. filled with nonsense. fun though. :/

love <3
lynnlynn.

2005-10-10T02:20:00.000-07:00

friday! worked at mystiz and sales was like horrible. :/ luckily still got peiqi around to entertain me. heh. we ate so much stuff. hahaha. :) worked OT! cos ben and zhiwei brought in new stuff. after tt went ta meet da big and small vinvins, and eve. me and vinvin watched the 40-year-old virgin with fel, adrian and simin. xiao kevin watched red shoes with eve. and we met after tt and went to the kopitiam opp cine to have supper. yummy!!! haha. maggie came down from work and joined us.

and so, after supper, we were feeling real bored. REAL bored.

we went to buy alcohol from cheers and sat outside rocky master. played guessing games and damn! i din get to drink much. =X hahaha. yepp. den eve had to go off to meet her frens. so the 4 of us started playing truth or dare. haha. seriously fun. our dares are damn stupid lahh.

wat i did:
2 squats with hands on my ears in front of 3 guys.
did a shuttle run between the 2 dustbins outside cheers.
played hopskotch in the middle of the entrance.
shouted titu titu and acted like a penguin.
borrowed a cap from an ah beng to have a look.
say "gong xi fa cai, hong bao yi ge lai" to 2 guys.

tts all i could rmb for myself. but it was freaking funny lah.

wat maggie did:
went onto a benz cab, sat in there for 3 secs and came out from the other door.
yelled hi to a group of indians.

wat xiao kevin did:
went to the glass at famous amos, slam both hands on the glass, shouting "i wan to eat".
walked in between a group of pple, and try to separate and indian couple.

wat vinvin did:
walked in front of a guy and bent down to tie his shoe laces.
did a 180 degrees turn 2 times in front of a few girls.
walked to a group of pple talking and stood there acting like one of them, and invaded their conversation by saying yah yah.
shouted "im gay" loudly.
took photo with the cheers staff.

damn there's too much for me to rmb. heh.

worked half day at far east DI today with yingying. den went club momo for toni&guy hair show. slacked there at momo for awhile with calyn, jy, yumin, jian ming and jun ming. ha. quite fun there. after tt went to rush to look for maggie and e 2 vins. ahha. the music makes me giddy. =P was feeling real bored and kinda high after drinking so went to indochine to look for tauhway and herng yih. damn. haha. the brothers and vinvin acc me there. drank there again. and i was like dead drunk. ahha. vinvin acc me home and i rested at the poolside for awhile before heading home. :) had a great deal of fun.

worked on sun too. half day again. acc aud out. happy big day aud! cheena minah kanina! heh. alrite man. we shopped around and had dinner together. den maggie and vinvin joined us. mark came too. we went to watch red shoes. it was an okay show. nth special nth bad. haha. right. aud wasnt really into horror flicks so she went home. :/ after e show we went to eat supper and we headed home. :)

having off day tml. great! cant wait. heh. gonna call vinvin now. blardy hell waited so long never see his ass online. still msg me he's coming online alr. damn! =P

darn it. i need an off on tue! argh. alrite watever. bitch. aud's coming to work for blossomz. oh ya. :) imma nice gurl. =X

byee.

2005-10-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

hello. haha.

damn i think im crazy. i jus woke up from a 4 hour nap. hah. currently there is an asshole beside me sleeping; kevin. and there is a u noe i noe we all noe behind me peeping. AND I GOT EXPOSED! wtf. haha. ok great. im feeling really energetic now. like woot.

hurhur.

tt was crap.

im at terence's place. was supposed to come over for mahjong but ended up sleeping. mom'd jus yell at me if she noes tt i went to someone elses place to sleep. she's go like: WAT?! u dun have a home to slp izzit?! ok watever. she'll never noe. probability zero. yay. its all about maths again. -roll eyes till it drop- HAHAHA.

somebody! anybody! take a gun and shoot my brains out!

before i go all crazy. hurhur.

damn im tired again. think im left with a brain cell. all depleted. still got work tml. argh. i hate cine now. AAAHH.

ben asked if i could work on fri or sun at mystiz. i dun wanna give up my off days! but den again. working at mystiz is great! haha. esp on a fri. im in a dilemma. cant decide. watever.

think im repeating stupid writcom. argh. like i give a damn to it.

k peeps im going off now.

taa.

oh! i forgot to add tt i had a great dinner today! at united square. hurhur. damn fucking full. oops. heh. imma good girl absolutely no vulgarities. =X

2005-10-05T01:10:00.000-07:00

went to work on thu again. damn i hate work! ha. alrite. at least working at far east isnt as bad. i worked at cine on fri and sales was fucking bad. like seriously bad. argh. :/

couldnt rmb where i went for the past few days. work is making me giddy. wat i can rmb is tt we went to terence's place on sun night to play mahjong, black jack and big2. din sleep for whole night. headed home on monday morning after breakfast at mac's.

omg! i went back to sch!!! haha. im a schoolaholic. -grins- nah. jus went to sch to make my student card. yes yes finally. =P kelvin acc me to sch anyway. haha. and we went town to shop. damn. things in town are getting fucking gross. haha. din get anything anyway. haha. met jessie in the late afternoon and we walked ard, took pictures, etc etc. damn i hate the neoprint machine. damn stupid.

had fish and co for dinner. damn full. heh. and i was pissed queueing for a cab. ha. waiting about half and hour plus. argh! reached home, showered and i K.O. haha.

2005-09-29T00:46:00.000-07:00

woohoo! t110 babehs! lynnlynn is awake now! hahaha.

yay. im back peeps. =) from class chalet. costa sands @ pasir ris.

worked on sunday at far east till 2130 den jinlong and da 2 kevin were at town too, so we went to cine to sing k. haha. damn! i was seriously tired. sang till 4 plus 5 am. god. i wanted to jus sleep there. ha. went home and i slept all the way till 5pm the next day. haha. oopsie =X

aud took a cab down and we went to pick nana up at her place and saliheen at novena b4 heading down to the chalet. they were bbq-ing alr. haha. played cards and did the usual stuff at the chalet lah. drinking.. talking. games. yepp. din sleep for the 1st night, and even went to tan the next day. haha. right in the morning. but felt really tired, so went back to sleep till evening b4 starting the usual stuff. heh. slept a lil on the 2nd night too. ha.

desiree called me on the 2nd afternoon. she is like really upset. sigh. im so caught up. i cant do much. its damn awkward for me too. sad. i dunno wat to do. :/ she came over to the chalet at night anyway. hope she is better now.

3rd day morning, we all headed home! except for me. :/ went to work. however, i went home after tt cos i couldnt take it anymore. haahha. seriously damn tired lah. slept all the way till 11. hahaah. like pig. zZz.

alritey. shall go watch tv or slp soon. heh.

byee.

2005-09-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

back from work. feeling really rotten. totally no mood for anything.

AND its not about my sales.

feel damn fucking fat. :/

cant decide to go to sentosa with ben, chou and the rest of them, or out with fel. on 2nd thoughts, i thought maybe i should go shopping alone. thought i need some time alone. but then again. maybe not. im really damn fickle. and the thing is i only have half a day out. :/ heading to the pub to work at night. and might be going to dbl o after tt. with maggie. sigh.

sometimes i really wonder why i do the things i do. i feel so lifeless. when is someone gonna come into my life and change me? when is someone gonna come and really change my life for the better. fuck i feel tt life is crap. but what to do. life goes on.. haha. i always manage to deceive myself and make myself feel better. ha.

oops. i forgot tt i told linda i'll meet her later. hmm. on 2nd thoughts again.. i feel like going for a walk or jog alone. ha fuck im damn fickle.

somehow i wish tt im lying in some hot hunk's arms now. and im thinking of one now. hahaha. =X aahh. forget it. though he'll make me better, i still feel fucking fat. dun wanna make him feel as though a sack of oil's lying in his arms. sheesh. my wishful imagination. -beams- wishful's not the word! it did happen. =X oops.

shut up lynn. and stop being such a bitch. wellwell.

ok. think i'll do this. jog/walk alone to batok to meet linda, den.. go sentosa in the morning, meet fel in the late afternoon, and go shopping alone for awhile and go meet maggie to work. TA-DA! tts it. -grins- yay. this is what i call WISHFUL thinking. ahha. time doesnt allow me to do tt. grr. nvm. i'll skip the shopping alone part. =)

gonna charge my cellphone and my mp3 now. shall update soon. =D

taa.

wtf!

2005-09-22T00:27:00.000-07:00

i almost couldnt remember what day it was.. i felt so lost. not until i went to work and had to write the day and date in the salesbook den i realised it's alr the 21st sep today. wed.

was supposed to go to MOS ytd but carol fell sick so we headed to halo instead. felly, simin, me went after work, to join zion and ws. the 3 of us girls started playing guessing games. it was so damn lame and funny lah. but we only ordered 5 bottles of barcardi and a jug of vodka redbull. we were damn loud lah. screaming like its our home. heh. den the boss treated me to submarine. oh damn it was so strong i almost died but i finished it anyway cos it'd be rude if i dun. hard liquor with beer. fuck it almost killed me.

den felly went home, simin went to meet her old beng fren to eat bak kut teh at balestier and zion went home with his biker fren i think. ws sent me home cos i was like seriously seh. haha. den once i reached home i K.O. hahaha.

however! i managed to wake in time to go to work and i wasnt late. heh. sales was quite bad today anyway. though i met a new girl, joanne. she's 23. ha. right. quite fun. must say she's good at sales. experienced. yepp. after work i went to meet alv! bro bro! =) den i went home. supposed to meet some motherfucker for food den i was like tired and pissed cos i had to wait so i went home instead.

and i din go to chinablack today. even when pple offer to get me ic and sponser my cab fare, thanks but no thanks! im dying alr. stil got work at mystiz tml. argh! jus wanna slp. haha.

weird. chou and ben jus called and asked to go to sentosa on fri. with the same old gang. stupid ass lah they. chou's pattern ah. sure kenna late. i'll slap his fucking face lo. hahah. big ass. =X okok shall stop here.

cant wait for next week t110 babehs chalet!

P.S. jon pls stop flooding my tag board cos its not gonna change anything. thanks and take care.

2005-09-21T02:01:00.000-07:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Low
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

alritey! i happened to stop by nining's blog and saw this quiz, found it quite interesting, so i jus took the quiz. here's my results. =)

i suffer from 2 disorders--

:histrionic personality disorder

People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

symptoms:

Needs to be the center of attention
Dresses or acts provocatively
Rapidly-shifting and shallow emotions
Exaggerates friendships
Overly-dramatic, occassionally theatrical speech
easily influenced; highly suggestible

:narcissistic personality disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

symptoms:

Requires excessive praise and admiration
Takes advantage of others
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Lack of empathy
Lying, to self and others
Obsessed with fantasies of fame, power, or beauty

damn. they sound sooo true. haha. fuck it. im gonna go to bed. zzz

taa.

2005-09-20T01:52:00.000-07:00

i jus read laopo's blog. and i cried. like some pathetic fag. i miss everyone. they're so near yet so far. wat am i to do.

reading their blogs to keep myself updated on their lives is the best i can do. i feel so rotten. i feel so useless. ever since the hol started, i spent all my time on work. nothing else. i feel so tired. of everything. i jus wanna runaway. :(

every gathering they had, every coincidental meet up on the streets or shopping malls never had me in the list. all in my list is work. tts all. not jus my ex team mates and ex classmates. tt include my other frens, my ex colleagues, everyone. my present classmates. nana, drew, aud, shu, sam, all of them.

im drifting away to my own world.

someone help me. it wouldnt be u jon. u've had enough of my shits. so jus go. GO. ok.

im drained. i jus wanna drop dead.

2005-09-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

i think i need some time alone. it'll do me good.

jus came back from dinner at fish & co with felicia, adrian and jon. anyway i tot this dinner date was jus totally crap. i took damn long to like get my ass outta my home. and i cabbed down to town cos i was really damn lazy. went to far east to charge my phone for a while, and headed to park mall. dinner was ok. but some fucking stupid ass had to ruin things. but great. it felt seriously great cos im jus gonna be fucking officially unofficial with him. u dun have to get it anyway. right. like. watever.

some pple jus wun understand things. oh well. it doesnt really bother me. call me evil. i dun care. alright.

today's the 19th already. time really flies when i start to work full time. PEOPLE! my off days are MONDAYs and FRIDAYs. so date me alright? haha. yay.

i'll try to recall wat happened for the past few days.. when did i last updated myself? haha. shit man. im like talkin to myself. damn. =P ok nvm.

i worked for awhile at the pub on friday cos irene gave me a dinner treat. den i went off early and headed down to clarke quay to club. heh. gotham penthouse. damn. simin got herself drunk. omfg. she puked on me. seriously gross. haha. but it was quite fun too. in the end they came over my place 1st for simin to rest here b4 heading home. and sunday night, me fel adrian and jon went boat quay drink and play poker. haha. damn lame lah. but quite fun anyway. went home and was supposed to head to sentosa today with aud but i overslept! she said she called me and talked to me. but! i cant recall! haha like. wtf! nvm. okok shall stop here. sleepy.

byee sayangs.

2005-09-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

after so many days i dunno where to start! heh.

but i can remember today's date. its 12th sep. haha. cos i've been writing dates everyday in the sales book. mid autmn festival coming. memories flowing in. though i din really feel much emotions stirring tt day. are u reading me now. feeling a sense of triumph? well. i dunno. i guess im ok to voice out my true inner thoughts. i aint ego gurl no more ok. nvm. it shall remain like this. im fine with this.

nth special happened these few days actually. cant really rmb lah. hmm. jus saw mayday's mtv for the song -zhi zhu; a song i dun even noe, but it still managed to quieten me down. ok nvm. last thu went to arab st with nana shu sam zhar and drew for shisha. ha. played truth or dare. damn corny lah. but fun and funny. haha. went to tim's chalet on fri night with maggie and darling. desmond drove us there. heh. we played cards and talk cock only. haha. nth much to do alr mah. we reached at about 3 plus 4. den des sent us home. before tt we waited damn long for enci to stop arguing with jonathan. argh. damn pissed and embarassed at the same time cos my bro and des waited damn long for us. :/ and now mtv's playing mayday's -jue jiang- and i was like damn! god must be playing on me. sat darling and i went on a double date with shirl and xiong; my "bro". ahaha bring the black pepper crab and kill the mayo! haha. we went to esplanade to talk and crap there. it was quite nice lah. den we all went home.

work ended at 7 ytd cos i went for family dinner! haha. near MS. a nice teochew restaurant. the food was great! though it was like a real quick dinner cos the pple there damn gan cheong. haha. the dishes jus kept coming. im talking to eugene now. so long never see him liao. :/ time really flies.

i woke up at one plus today. haha. damn shiok! wahahah. later meeting manda!!! woo! so happy. now im jus like slacking online, msging with my honeyhoney, tts all. haha. life's good. for today at least. =P alrite shall stop here.

byee.

dying out.

2005-09-06T23:56:00.000-07:00

suddenly i feel so drained. :(

time seem to pass damn quickly these few days. i tot it was still friday a few mins ago, but den its already tuesday now. and what have i done since the last day of sch? it feels like alot. but den again it seem like i jus went to work. sigh. my life's filled with work and work and still work. only.

and guess what? im also working tml. well. yeahh. tml im working at D.I's new shop at far east level 3 for zhiwei. im in a dilemma. i seriously dunno where i wanna work at, full time, or part time, absolutely no idea wat i wan. mystiz's a really nice place. moreover its at level one and i like level one more den level 3. but den again. if i work at mystiz, i cant work at zhiwei at his shop. i dunno lah. i feel so caught up.

im really tired too. i need slp badly. :/

this is my sixth day of work. supposedly i have work night too. but i msged irene told her i cant work. i think i need a break. but im gonna work on fri. yeahh. and sat at push cart. sunday back at D.I new store. tt leaves me with thu free. provided if i dun have work elsewhere. DAMN. i feel like a loser flooding my own blog with work schedule. :(

CUT THE CRAP on work.

im gonna hang on and cont working bcos i noe i can. :)

i jus had a haircut ytd. and now my hair's frizzy no more. heh. :) but jon says my new hair is ah lian-ish. fuck him. :( i like my new hair. however though i need a diet badly. but without enough slp, i tend to crave for chocs more. argh. help!

great. i noe what i should do now. ZZZ.

...(", x) =O -zZz- ...

different day.

2005-09-05T01:15:00.000-07:00

i woke up at 11.05am today! darn. mom din wake me up. was kinda pissed tt i screamed at her. and she screamed back. fuck it. din expect tt coming so i was quite mad. but its true tt our shrilliness runs in the family. argh.

took a cab down to far east to work with zhuzhu today. mystiz. e shop's really nice. i liked it quite alot. though i had to wear the clothes there, and look like some office girl. ahha. seriously the clothes made me look older. one customer tot it was my shop. wat the *TOOT*. ahha beware of my *TOOT* i noe simin, shirl, meiying and fel damn scared of it. hahaah. ok im damn crap. but who cares anyway. =P saw jess too. heh.

work was ok. quite busy. somehow i liked it there more than cine. hmm. yeah. im tired. real tired. need slp badly. and i need a hair cut badly! i love fel! haha. she's jus sooo cute. and nice. heh. might go to adrian's place cos he's willing to help me with it. ha. but he stays at woodlands! darn. so outta way. but nvm. i trust him. he's sick today. but its his off day tml. ahh. watever. i'll see how it goes. need to go to sch tml. hai. stupid last proj for radio. damn.

nvm. i'll jus get it done and over with. hhrmph. heh.

anyway it seem like these few days flew past. i think im too busy working alr. hai. its ok lah. working is better den spending my days shopping and slacking. oh well. yepp. im gonna slp soon. i hope.

byee.

babybaby.

2005-09-02T03:57:00.000-07:00

honey.

i miss u like fuck now.

really. im so stressed up and i need u to de-stress me. but u're not ard. im crying now. i hate sch. and absolutely hate it when everything's stressing me up. esp when u're not here now.

i wan to slp. but i cant. help. help. help.

dead.

UNREASONABLY TIREDD.

2005-09-01T23:08:00.000-07:00

woke up at 0812 today. had to wake up lahh. hai. needa finish up on our final speech. yepp. and we managed to finish it! it was quite alright lah. we're the TRANNY GIRLS. damn stupid lehh. corny. ha.

oh well. whatever. no time to waste on fretting about the speech which is alr over. still got proposal essay and socpsy coming up tml. oh yeah. there's radio too. argh. im damn stressed up lah. :/ jus one more day to hols but im not sure if i can survive till den. :/

alrite. sch ended at 3 today den we- me, cassandra, yc, and gladys, took cab down to NLB to do work. hmm. my 1st time there. omg! imma noob. hahaha. its really nice there actually. the view. oops. =X i din really study lah. in the end met up with simin, caroline and minghui to have dessert. heh. nice wor. :) den cabbed down to town again. haha they went to kbox but i din go lah, cos i had to come back to finish up my work. :/

ben called. he said he was really bored. hai. his exams coming alr still wanna hang out. he was at far east and he wanted to catch a show. hmm. well. too bad lah. i hate to go home to finish up my work. :/ i went cine to get my earphones and den i took 171 home. i was really freaking tired! and i kept dozing off on the bus. really damn tired. :/

happened to watch superstar on tv cos my mom and dad watching. damn stupid leh my mom. like auntie. wanna support the blind guy. anyway he won. i got no comments. im more interested in jackie chan's new movie- the myth. :D opens on 23rd this mth.

oh today's teachers day! happy teachers day to all my teachers! im sorry for making all of u vomit blood. hahah. k lah. imma good girl. happy happy teachers day to uncle boon haur. thanks alot for helping all of us last year. we love u! same goes for ms chow too! thanks. :)

tml im going to try working at a pub with maggie. hmm. good pay but im not sure if i'll enjoy working there. shall see. right. feel like a loser. gonna work at cine on sat and far east on sun. nvm lah. good also. earn more money during hols. heh.

dunno where the hell is stupid jon. hhrmph. "what i said? i hate it when u call me jon".. blahblah. WHATEVER lah! hhrmph. u asshole better get ur ass back here soon.

alright! shall go to slp soon. am really tired. maybe take a nap and wait for my dad to come home with supper. haha. he's going out with my bro for supper. idiot. zzz.

byee. :)

2005-09-01T03:21:00.000-07:00

heyhey pple. (: yay!!! i've changed my blogskin alr. im back after so many days missing in action. wahhaha. dun nah! im damn stressed up ok. with sch. and work. sigh. :/ anyway back to my new blog skin...

SAY TT ITS NICE U ASSHOLES. but seriously i think i like this new blogskin. at least for now. hahaha. =P

alright. watever. and i need to give the credits to JUNHAO for helping me with this blogskin. thanks thanks. :) though i did do some stuff like the links and words alright. haha. =P

with my new blogskin, i think i'll update on my blog more frequently. heh. -grins-

went to work today. damn tiredd. :/ and sales was really bad. worse thing, i brought my work there to do but i din do much. argh! im seriously damn stressed up lah. about e final few assignments, esp the proposal essay. i need to do well or i might fail the module. :/ which is horrible. no it cant happen. argh. :/ and we've got our final speech due later! aud is sick and nana's aslp. we haven really done our stuff. sigh. there's nth much i can do actually cos the stuff's with aud. but aud's such a poor thing. getting sick at the wrong time. :/ on tue she kept sneezing. come come aud i sayang u. :)

supposedly someone told me at 0016 tt he'll come back online an hour later, and now, its 0304 alr. somehow i felt like a fool again. fuck. 2 hrs and no sight of him. im fucking tired lah. damn pissed now. seriously.

and the credits for making me so pissed and tired will be given to none other den jonathan hong. thank you SO much.

oh oh. u neednt say sorry. cos sorries from you make me REAL sick. nono. its seriously ok u noe. jus 2 hrs. no biggie. WHATEVER.

yeahh. call me a bitch. i dun care. cos i noe im not. though i own one; snowy. but tt doesnt mean im one. ok tt was crap. hurhur.

ok shall not argue with u. one more time u piss me off im gonna stuff my shoes into ur asshole.

HHRMPH.

im turning in alr. seriously tired. tml meeting nana and aud at 9. think all of us gonna be late but who cares. hopefully we dun screw our final speech up cos cordelia's alr pissed with us. cb face. oopsie. no vulgarities cos i said i wouldnt say alr. yeahh. hope aud gets better soon. and.. HAPPY 21ST BDAE SALIHEEN! got e key to adulthood already huh.. good lah! im still not legally 18. DAMN! nvm. soon soon. heh.

wah i realise i take damn long to complete an entry. haha. DON NAH! my typing speed is one word per min leh. hahaha!

taa.

.

2005-08-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

haven blogged for days.

im speechless.

wat are we? jus plain weak platforms built on lies. trust eroded before anything went strong. fuck you ALL.

don bother.

cos i dun fucking care.

sch is killin me... slowly.

2005-08-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

wahahaha. im back.

it's 8.20 am, and im in lecture now. argh! damn tired alright! but its ok. cos imma good girl. heh. :) i miss darling now. heh. hhrmph. made him mad last night. stupid asshole. so petty. GRRR. think he din slp. damn stupid always never sleep.

nana jus let played faz's voicemail to her. SO SWEET FOR WAT?! BITCH! darling i also wan! hahaha. im gonna switch off my phone. pls leave a voicemail after the tone. *BEEP* :D

heh. feeling kinda cheery today. :) yay.

had a chat with laopo ytd. i missed her so much. laopo i love u!!! haha. MWAH. :) dear. dun be annoyed by the NJ nerd or the squash captain. heh. =X oops. nvm lah they'll never find their way to my blog. bleh. :P and.. dun be pissed bcos of sch cos sch stinks. :/ esp without u here now. :(

i slept for 12 hours ytd, slacked for the rest of the day doing nth, cos i simply din have the mood to study for the socpsy test today. argh. :/ damn! nvm later after lecture im going to get some rest, and study when i wake. :)

and shushu-ying! thanks. :)

thanks alot too xinle. i miss u loads. wanna cry alr. sob sob. wahahaah. stfu lynn. :) im feeling happy alr. mwah. seriously thanks.

woot. im going off alr. heh. go disturb nana and drew. heh.

taa.

BIG MWAH TO EVERYONE.

2005-08-10T01:17:00.000-07:00

haven blogged for days.

here i am now, lying down on my fucking small bed, wishing time would jus stop. i wan everyone everything to freeze. i wanna live in my own world. i wanna live with living toys. wtf. :/ im lookin at snowy now. she's sleeping with me. she seem happy. :/ i wanna be happy.

fucking lotsa stuff happened for the past few days. which gave me joy, upsetness, disappointment, pride. they drove me crazy, made me pissed, brought me tears, left me tired, had me ill, almost killed me.

i managed to complete my informative essay for writcomm. i tried my best to do it. and if i dun get a C, i guess its my fucking stupid prob.

lotsa stuff running through my mind now.. i dunno wat. they jus come in. and goes out. one sec sth comes in. the next sec, another is alr on my mind. my head hurts. tears jus kept flowing. im so afraid. why am i tearing when there isnt anything i can rmb tt ran through my mind. why. who's gonna catch me when i fall. why do i count on others. am i gonna be left to pull myself up? wats gonna happen. wat if i fail my module. wat if i die. wat if, wat if.

i've been having bad headaches for the past 3 nights. hurts fucking alot. wat if im dying. wat if. wat if.

why.

gimme a reason.

quick.

cos im losing myself.

i dun understand.

im fading away.

i wan my precious to stop flowing. for fuck they flow. for fuck. for fuck. why are they so fucking stupid. why are they so fucking weak. i wish. i wish. i wish i could be fucking strong. i wish. den i'll fucking fuck everyone off.

i feel fucking rotten now.

i wish i could go for a holiday. all alone.

they ceased. finally.

"tml will be better" is sth i fucking hate. cos i lost my phone the next day i told myself tt.

guess im not gonna sleep tonight. unless i knock out.

fuck to the world. fuck to u. fuck to me. fuck everything.

long entry.

2005-08-02T02:48:00.000-07:00

28th july 2005
-sch for speechcomm. did my ppt slides on the spot. wahahah. turned out ok. heh. so happy. nana and drew both fell sick, so i went to chill at timah after class with aud. talked alot lah. i love aud. mwahhss. :) den we went home and i fell asleep. wahahha.

29th july 2005
-was supposed to wake up early to go to sch to bring my books to pat wong. mann. i couldnt wake on time! damn. and i was quite pissed tt day lah. damn vexed. argh. but alright. things went ok after tt. cos i met up with my darlings! heh. we met at marina and went for steamboat. it was seriously nice to be with them again. all the bitchings all the gossips, the laughter, aww.. i love them. and i went to meet up with nana, faz, aud, and company. den i was feeling quite moody. went home early tt day. somehow i jus feel down. argh. nvm. :) im ok.

30th july 2005
- work and work and work! i was so busy today. but it feels damn fucking great lahh. hahaha. i was so busy i only had 2 bottles of green tea and a choc bar today. woot. im loving it. heh. after tt i went to meet maymay, ken, zhiwen, irene, e whole gang lah. haha. they were at party world. :) was quite fun there lah. though irene was really tired. :/

31st july 2005
-was supposed to go sentosa with ah mei de. but both our menses came. wahahha. so we slacked till about 4 den we went shopping. hurhur. was quite fun but i was tired lah. heh.

1st august 2005
-woo. aug alr. hai. feeling so.. caught in a fucked up situation. i need help badly. though i noe only i can save myself. argh. this feeling is killing me. argh. alritey shall not think so much. anyway i failed my stupid paragraph essay. i got zero due to plagiarism. dammit. im gonna whine. :D nth much to say alr lah. grr. damn lazy to blog nowadays. argh.

byee.

2005-07-28T01:56:00.000-07:00

well. my 6th miracle did not happen on monday. fuck it.

i tot i was supposed to be working on both tue and wed and it turned out i was actually wrong. i woke up late, and cab-bed down to cine to find enci there alr. FUCK it! i wasted 10 bucks. it seriously felt damn bitter. cos i forced myself to take bus 2 times ytd. and i spent 10 bucks on nth. seriously wanted to cry. argh. :/ in the end i met nana and faz at PS. we went to pasta mania to have lunch den they went to catch fantastic four. i din wan to watch it so i went to meet jon at taka.

went to find aud 1st cos jon was busy at far east. den i felt kinda tired i dunno y. we walked to PS and went to the arcade. spent some time there, and we went to parklane to play pool. and to kopitiam further down to have dinner. the baked rice suck. :/ and we went home.

lotsa stuff on my mind. running through. they make me pek chek. like REALLY pek chek. i couldnt slp. though my head hurts alot. argh.

fuck it.

finally i managed to drift off at 6am. and i couldnt wake in the morning so i skipped class. but i still went to work late. today was horrible. my sales was totally crazy. at 8pm it was only 30 bucks. can u imagine. and i had to rush through my speechcom assignment at work. i closed at 11 plus today. on my own. but its ok. somehow e feeling excites me. think im going crazy. on the bus my dad called to scold me. den i was so pissed i scolded knn fuck u lah and hung up. and till now i haven talked to him yet. argh.

im not gonna slp tonight lah. i dun care.

bye u fuckers. =D WOOOOO. i am excited.

fuck u all!!! yeahhhh.

2005-07-25T17:50:00.000-07:00

im so darn proud of myself today. noe y? wahahha. dun tell u. its secret and confidential. u sucker! haha.

1st, i slept at 4 plus and managed to move my arse to sch b4 8! haha. WOO.

2nd, i din fall asleep in lecture today!!!

3rd, i din cab home today. i took a BUS! yay!

4th, i managed to overcome the almost irresistible temptation of skipping the afternoon class and went to sch at 2 by BUS. BUS ok. wahahha.

5th, i din head to town after sch today! woohoo.

lynnie the great.

-claps claps-

the 6th miracle's gonna happen! im gonna complete my assessed speech tonight. at least try to complete lah! haha. but its later. =P

alrite man! okok shall update more later. im home!

IMMA GOOD GIRL!!!

zzz.

im gonna nap soon.

2005-07-25T01:49:00.000-07:00

argh! dun force me to blog!!!

im lazy lahhh. hhrmph. alright. nth happened much for the past few days.. i forgot when i stopped bloggin eh.

ok. i'll jus write down events i can remember lah. ha.

stupid shuying stripped!!! ooh. SEXY. bahahhaa. sam, shuying and me were pretty siao lah. i forget which night alr. damn funny lah. u horny bitch! =P

ok and on fri, me, jon, aud, her bf, nana and faz went out together. we went town 1st, the 1st 4 of us, den we met nana and faz @ esplanade. =D haha. dun sit on the parapet. dun sit on the parapet. dun sit on the parapet. ahhh audrey. wahahha. aud and her bf went home, while the rest of us headed to marina sq to catch a show. clement was working. heh. and he helped us get 2 free entries. woo. we watched THE ISLAND. was quite an ok show. like 3 and a half stars i guess. kinda similar to war of the worlds. yepp.

den we lied down at the open space at marina sq for awhile b4 heading over to faz's place. we watched some VCDs and almost fell asleep until faz had a conflict with his dad. yepp. so we siam! and its 6 plus alr so me and nana headed home. while jon went get ready to go to sch, and faz went home again to slp b4 going for soccer. :)

i slept through sat. all the way til 6. and i slacked all my way till 10.40 b4 i moved my ass to meet jon. and he waited for 40 mins. and we argued! fuck u lah jon. hhrmph. i kick ur TOOT. GRR. in the end we sat down and played stupid games. wahahha. and then we went find shirl and we went to e-games to play games. DERR. haha. i din noe it could be so funny. :D wahahha. shirl is addicted to star wars alr. wahhaa. oh yeah. we went to arcade too. im DA ULTIMATE winner of DAYTONA! yay! jon is e LOSER. ahaaha. and 20-4. kenna thrashed like fuck. wahahha. stupid jon. ok lah shall not bully him alr. =P

alrighty. my beautiful sunday. work was ok! quite fun actually. today passed quite quickly. all is well. alright i shall go to bed. got lecture at 8 tml. DARN!

taa.

monday no blues.

2005-07-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

woo. i managed to wake myself up despite sleeping at 4 ytd. heh. so proud of myself. wahahaha. imma good girl. good mannered and well disciplined. -blink blink big eyes-

dad drove me to the bus stop opp sch. stupid dad. mean dad. waaaahhh. :( met nana there and we walked all the way uphill to the stupid lecture theatre. seriously i hate danny boey. :( think everyone hates him. we all started chatting till he damn dulan. wahaha. time passed damn quickly lah. after lecture all of us went to KAP mac to grab breakfast. :)

ALL OF US-- drew, aud, nana, jaz, shuying, sam, and me. :D

heh. den me, drew and nana went to cold storage for a walk. wahaha. and guess who we SAW!!! GRACE CHONG! no lah. we saw a brocoli. her sister. :D damn corny lahh. :P and i felt tired so i shared cab with nana home. :D reached home and i felt really happy, changed out and almost fell asleep when bro's gurl msged me online. :) tim was beside her and the 3 of us chatted. haha. they were so pissed with their teacher and they decided to zhao to my place to slack. hahaha.

couldnt believe my bro actually had such nice girlren and fren. haha. ok im lynnie meanie. :/ think they're on their way alr. think i'll entertain them by...!!! my jokes. no lah. haha. VCD! hmm. maybe i force them play mahjong with me. if they noe lah. heh. cards? aiya at most we can go out lah. wahahaha. hmm. yepp.

somehow i felt empty when he isnt around. oh well. its ok. for today i guess. and perhaps tml. i've got my bro's girlfren qianying and tim's company today. and i've got work tml. yeahh.

oh man! i've got stupid assignment due at 5pm today. aiya heck lah. i dun wanna do. haha. maybe later. haha. i wanna slack 1st. :D

ytd i had a chat with helong online. heh. now he owes me a drink. stupid sucker. asked me to guess his rise in allowance. and i got it right the 1st time. wahahhaa. sucker! im da winner! so maybe tonight we'll meet up with zijing papa at timah. im not so sure. oh well.. we'll see how it goes lah. helong is doing his test now. wahaha. poor thing. =X

immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm kinda happy. :D hope i'll stay like this all e time for today at least. :)

wei! they're taking so damn long. im getting sleepy alr! haha. grrr.

alrighty! will try to update if i can tonight. :D byeee.

broken.

2005-07-18T03:46:00.000-07:00

sunday. it wasnt a beautiful sunday. my sunday could only be described in two words; fucked up.

why? u ask. i tot u cant wait for today cos he'll back here with u?

well. ya. i was anticipating for tt. however so, things ended sour. im feelin really really.. ARGH. no words can ever describe this kinda feeling. im gonna be all alone. everyone who's attached can go fuck themselves. i'll stay outta these. cos they're awful. they broke me up. and is breaking me up again.

lotsa things came onto my mind at this very fucked up moment.

flowing in.. these things made me smile, made me laugh, made me cry, made me cringe in pain, sweetened me up, made me a criminal, made me guilty, made me proud, left me in regrets..

it wasnt jus things tt came into my mind. lotsa pple came into my mind too. the pple who came, and left. the pple who came and are still around. the pple who came and still on my mind though not so attached alr. i miss all of them.

but come on. wats happening to me. i cant decide wat i wan. i wanna stop thinking, but tt doesnt solve my problem. fuck it man. i need to think. but my brain cells stop functioning alr. :(

its alr 3 plus am and i stil cant get to slp. i've got socpsy lecture tml at 8am. fuck danny boey. he's so fuckin boring. jus hate him. argh.

summary of today's activities:--
-woke up late
-cab to work
-work
-movie with jon
-home
-online
-fucking myself up in process

DER. wtf is wrong lah. ARGH. sometimes i really think i cant control myself and my hormones. :/

im gonna be all alone. and im gonna be ok.

im gonna be strong.

yes i am.

good bye to all these shit.

good bye to u my love.

good bye.

im chatting with vin online. he's having probs too. damn. we're always in shit together. well. we still have each other. :)

u'll smile like never before when im gone.

s.s --> short sat. haha. siao.

2005-07-17T01:31:00.000-07:00

i was out talking to a fren till 6 am today. wahahaha. siao. damn lame lah.. so talkative. den i went home and slept all the way till 2 plus 3. felt real lazy to move lah, so i jus slack on the sofa, went online, and watched VCD- meet the fockers. heh. stupid man. and i talked to baby online!!! -shy- ahahah.

i miss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. :/

but i pissed u off. im sorry.

hai.

den my bro's gf and his fren tim plus tim's girl came over to wake my bro up. damn. so sweet for wat!!! idiot! haha. i also wan!!! :/

I DUN WANNA BE LONELY NO MORE!

wahahaha.

changed and went out to meet all my ex team mates for the bp anniversary dinner. was quite nice to see all of them lahh. laopo!!! laoniang, carmie, wen, ting, ue, wanmei, suxian, celeste. ahhhh! haha. we took photos den got one stupid man came into the photo. he stood beside me somemore. wth. hahaha. and i din noe until we viewed the photo. SIAO. heh.

it was quite boring lah the dinner. ended at about 11 plus and we went to cck mac to sit down and talk. :) met liling and her bf there. and they-- wen, liling, aloy, went home. laopo went meet her fren, to me its her scandal. wahahaha =P carmie went off with her bf. i saw canaan there and we headed home together. :D but in the end we went timah to get drinks and talked for a while b4 his dad came and sent us home. canaan's quite cute lah. and nice to talk to. funny. wahaha. cute lil boy who wans a girl but cant find the right one. cute lil boy who wans to study hard but always gets distracted by his guitar. cute lil boy who's my junior. cute lil boy who's my neighbour. heh. cute lil boy who's black. =X haha. im crapping alr.

i miss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu baby. :/

i din feel like hanging out today. dunno y. maybe i jus miss u too much. :/ im think im falling down closer to u alr. : NAH. think its tt im tired. somehow i jus wished u were here. sucker lah u. hhrmph. :/ think i shall jus slack online or watch VCD again. haven watched the other disc i borrowed from anna. hmm. im waiting till tml. its coming. i jus gotta go to bed soon, wake up and go to work and u'll be with me in a jiffy. muahhss.

wait.

im feeling damn fickle. all ur fault lah sucker. :/

nvm. dun wanna think now lah. or if i go crazy u wun be around to make me smile. :)

im sorry.

night.

2005-07-16T02:22:00.000-07:00

woke up at about 1 plus 2 today.. heh. 1st thing i did when i woke up? i called mr hong. whahaha. see im so nice. hhrmph. he din go to sch. ORH HOR. im gonna call his mom and tell her. :) im an angel. im a good influence.

i went online and slacked. and took my own sweet time to get ready for work. haha. reached cine at about 4.45pm. and jon reached there b4 i even went outta my house. wth. he went lavender to renew his passport, and it took less than a few mins and its done. ahha. sucker.

shu, sam, sam's bro and drew went for shisha today. idiot. i had to work!!! hhrmph. den came to disturb me. eileen niuuuuu came to look for me too. madeline as well. aww man. i feel so fortunate. wtf. ahha okok im lame. men! bring me my wheelchair. :)

work was ok today. though sales wasnt tt good, time seem to pass quickly. stupid jon went KL and left me all alone here. ARGH. i hate him. hahaha. i went home str8 after. wanted to watch VCDs i borrowed from anna, but i ended up slacking online. damn! haha.

i wanna cry! i miss jon alr. tt fucker. haha. when he comes back im gonna get a bunch of bananas and shove them one by one into his asshole. heh. im evil. BAHAHAHA. :)

yay. no work tml. gotta go to anniversary dinner. finally i get to catch up with laopo, wen, ting, ue, wanmei, suxian, celest, and everyone.. :D haha. i hope coach is going too.

right.... im jus gonna slack till im tired. :)

byeeeeee!!!

2005-07-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

i met shushu today!! shushu=shuli. i missed her alot. haha. it was really nice to be able to hang out for a day together after such a long time. we had lotsa fun lah. walked around w/o any intention of getting anything, but we shared alot of stuff with each other. :) we walked from far east to plaza sing. haha. it was like nice lah. i love her. :D

den i met mr hong. idiot. only noe how to piss me off. hahaha. siao. different frequency lahh. den miscommunication. and i got pissed off, den he got pissed off. dunno who pissed who off. BAHAHAHA. aiya. u noe i noe we all noe. :D we wanted to catch a show but no nice shows lah. stupid eh. GRR. den we went coffee bean. and someone got jealous cos i wanted to go TCC bcos he claimed i wanted to see my boss. SIAO. haha. damn stupid lah. den i got pissed. yeahh again. and he got pissed. den we laughed it off. SIAO. think damn stupid lah. too bored alr. haha. in the end we went to boat quay and esplanade for a walk. haven been there for a long time. :) i like tt place.

hmm. den i wenta princep st to meet them for shisha while jon went home cos he got work to do, and sch tml. them= me, aud, her bf, nana, faz, drew. heh. and we walked to novena square!!! fucking far lah. i was tired and pissed cos i had to walk so far. wahahaha. we shared stories. but faz was the main story teller. stupid idiot lah. haha. we stayed there till about 4 den headed to a void deck near faz's place. hon came down. :D heh. he looked tired. he tot he's superman. no need to slp. fucking siao. haha. SIAO.

handdd..... it was quite alright lah. we all went home at about 6. i slept all the way. gotta work tml! at about 4. enci's ill. aww man. poor girl. :/

zZz.

2005-07-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

wenta sch in the morn. was late. :( luckily aud came pick me up midway. reached sch at about 0915- late for the stupid grammar test. argh. heck it. it was quite easy actually.. think i can pass. wahahaha. i only need to pass. :D

finished it damn quickly and headed home with aud. she came over to sun tan. :) were really tired and we fell asleep. haha. and we had pizza for lunch! heh. yummy! we watched vcd too. e show was kinda touching. aud cried! my god. haha. =P

met anna to get more vcds to keep myself entertained during this boring hol. :/ and met simin at bugis. shopped around. din get much stuff. sigh. oh wait. im supposed to be happy. hur. wtf. i feel so lazy to type. :/ went cine to look for shirl and enci cos i had to wait for jon to go home together. stupid fucker still din appreciate it and pissed me off at the end of the day. :/ i feel seriously fucked up now lah. !#@$%^&^%%$##@!#$%^^%$#@

i need to relieve!!!

:/

gonna go to bed. argh.

fuck it.

byee.

hmm.

2005-07-13T00:27:00.000-07:00

woke up and it was raining real heavily. wanna slp! hah. but i had to force myself up to go to work. :( i reached cine early!!! whahaha. 1st time. :D work was ok today. it was jason's bdae! blossomz and D.I staff shared and bought a watch for him. i chose it! heh. diesel watch. hahaha. kinda nice lah. but he said its heavy. wah lau. hahah. i went swensens to buy blackforest cake for him. i managed to psycho the cartel guy to keep the cake for me. :) sales was ok. everything's ok. except tt the grammar test later is pissing me off. :/ ARGH! heck. haha. went home with fat ass. stupid fucker. wahahaha. so vulgar. :( hah. im gonna try to study. ta ta.

2005-07-12T03:06:00.000-07:00

finally. my long awaited hols are here. but i dun feel a bit good about it. :/ i was pretty tired the night before, and my head hurt alot, so much i tot i was dying out. damn. :/ and. i was msgin with mr hong and... and... and.. i fell asleep. wahahaha. shit it.

woo. was so happy tt i can finally rest. woke up at about half past one. slacked around and went out to meet ah mei. heh. we walked around town lah. same few places. din really fancy anything. hai. damn i shouldnt be sighing lah. im supposed to save up! so i shall be glad. whaha. in the end i still couldnt help but splurged on havianas slippers. damn. haha. ah mei went home after dinner, and i met shuying and andrew to take pictures! ahaha. so fun. and. i met simin to buy DKNY watch. and we're gettin jason a diesel watch. haha. i wanna get guess watch. ahah. shit man. waste money again. argh. den we went cartel to get drink and snack. heh. damn funny there lah. :D had lotsa fun with simin darling. really love her lots.

jonathan hong qi neng pissed me off today. but i think it was me who pissed him off 1st. aiya. fuck myself for being so mean. tts e prob with me. argh! i dun wanna think lah. im sorry alright. i felt so horrible i cried. but tt doesnt mean i din upset him. i'll be nicer lah.

sigh.

im tired. got work tml. seriously i hate myself sometimes. for expecting so much from pple. recently i've been expecting alot from others. sometimes i wish i was some lousy stupid girl. so i wouldnt expect so much from pple. but then again, no thank u. shit myself for being so fickle minded. fuck myself for being so vulgar. ARGH!

okok. gonna stop here. its 3am. and someone's tired! haa. he made others do his work and he's gonna slp. horrible. tsktsk.

im sorry honey.

im really sorry.

i din mean to.

seriously.

i miss u. :)

I'LL BE THERE FOR U........................... U SUCK. hahaha.

byee.

dun wanna blog!

2005-07-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

i dun feel like blogging. haha okok. i shall summarise. :)

9thJuly2005
-lost my keys
-work
-car ride w ben to retrieve keys
-tired
-aud, andrew, talk cock
-supper with zhiwei and shirl at geylang
-jon
-home
-sleep

10thJuly2005
-aud
-sentosa
-sunny
-rainy
-sunny
-rainy
-fucked up
-photos!
-walk out of sentosa
-hougang heartland mall
-home
-slack :)

tts all lah. byeeeeeeeee.

imma good girl!

2005-07-09T02:48:00.000-07:00

woke up feelin real tired! but i still forced myself to get to sch. obviously there's gotta be a reason for tt. heh. well. cos its da LAST DAY of sch!!! i've got 2 weeks of break. OMG! OMFG. haha. oops. =X

radio class was ok. did some dubbing and splicing shit. which i noe nuts about, but still managed to complete. heh. was quite sleepy after radio class. kinda pissed during lunch break and socpsy class. argh! the stupid weather lah. damn humid. and i couldnt hand in my writcom assignment on time. everything's so screwed! ARGH!!! plus i din study for the stupid socpsy quiz. KNN. i hate danny boey lah. fuckin annoying. :( hhrmph.

i became an IJ gurl today. haha. for our presentation for socpsy assignment lah. funny. turn on ok! haa. girl in sch uniform, top of the list.. u noe, i noe, we all noe. hahah. fishing stupid lah. took some pics in the toilet and in class. kinda happy when socpsy ended. we went into da boys toilet today. nana lah! stupid eh. and andrew also another stupid asshole. hide in the cubicle to smoke. kns. haha. we had a threesome today. in e last cubicle. heh. u noe i noe we all noe. :D took a pic with mr. lover ah tan azhar in a cubicle too. haaha. and snapshot nana and andrew in the other cubicle. craziness!

was supposed to meet ah mei jeannie at bugis today, but she was tired lah. so in e end we din meet. oh well. :/

after class i headed to town with andrew, azhar and aud. the 3 As i jus realised. ahha. azhar went meet his best fren. and e 3 of us went far east in search of dinner- curry chicken rice. ahaha. i din eat lah. cos i tot i'll have dinner with ahmei. den after dinner we chiong to centrepoint mango to shop! haha. andrew left for acid bar soon after. think he damn sian lah! ahah. aiight. we bought some stuff from the mango there and chiong to taka's mango to buy again. haha think we're really siao! but fun lah. ha. damn tired lah! but we still went cine to take neo prints. love 'em. :D

aud went home and i went talk to simin while waiting for mr hong. damn big shot leh. gonna kick his arse.

simin got me twice today. felt damn stupid!
- wet paint
- bus came

DAMN! ahaha

ok imma good girl. went home early. woooo!

tired. gonna stop here. byeee u suckers.

muahhsss.

tiredd.

2005-07-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

my eyes are cock now lah. heh. jus finished my assignment. gonna slp alr. logged on jus to write a short entry. :D hols coming alr! cant wait. alrite. im going to bed. haha. damn stupid lah. asshole. =P

im sorry baby.

2005-07-07T02:24:00.000-07:00

here i am again. feeling soooo freakin stupid. sitting on my couch at 2am. staring into space. but i feel happy. cos i've done sth for my grp for da socpsy presentation. haha. bah. it wasnt sth great. but at least i contributed. hahaha.

right.

sch was ok today. short and sweet 2 hrs of IS com. jus did e test lah. quite ok lor. i dun care. ahah. den i slacked around in sch with anna and andrew. talk cock. ahaha. damn funny lah. we are all techno siaos! hahha. shit man. i was supposed to be in sch to do my essay assignment. but. i still have thu lah. ahah. slacker leh. :/ nvm. den i went town to meet ah vin! haha. stupid asshole. i miss him lah. we walked around town and it was seriously nice to out shopping with him. it jus feels so right. guess tts wat 11 yrs difference can make. heh. hugs. we bought nth tho. haha. weird! we bought nth buy yet i felt so happy. hmm. i took passport photos. at last. but i dun really like it. shit lah. im not fussy. i repeat. I AM NOT FUSSY. haha. but its not tt nice. no choice lah. i'll make do with it. heh.

took a cab home cos i was simply too shagged. haha.

jon is warded in hosp. :/ hai. im like freaking worried. i miss him. :/

fuck to me for hurting others.

argh!

-gone-

-back-

forgot to add tt tml's e 7th! which means payday! woohoo! haha. im gonna save. :D been spending alot. so horrible lah. i've got a new wish on my wishlist. i wan a money printer. hahaha. siao. think i need to slp. aaha.

-wheels off in a wheelchair-

i like being lame. hurhur.

hmm.

2005-07-06T00:56:00.000-07:00

5th july. shushu's 17th birthday. muahss. 5th july. stupid tuesday. 5th july. work suck. 5th july. i miss u. 5th july. i hate u. 5th july. i need u. 5th july. wtf lahh.

nana! shushu= shuli, my pri sch bestie. not shuying lahh. dots!

sam. stop denying lahh! i caught u waving to the oil tanker tt day. hhrmph. seriously. admit it. at most i'll jus laugh. =D i wun tell anyone. i promise!

wanmei ah mei-- ah mei= jeannie ah mei. ah mei= wanmei. aiya, both ah mei lah! heh.

i slept at 5 in the morn ytd. couldnt sleep. alot was on my mind. my last brain cell gave up on me at 5am. hurhur. woke up at 11am today and i wasnt really late for work. so proud of myself. hmm. work was ok today.. jus tt i felt tt time passed damn slowly but i've got absolutely no idea why. saw an old fren today. he said i looked really tired. do i? :/ laopo said i looked tired on sunday too. damn. im ageing! haha. siao. sales was bad until night time. seriously i tot the insane pple were gonna like push the whole push cart away. haha ok. im exaggerating. but. seriously they're siao lahh. haha. sales shot up like space shot in genting. i needa wheelchair now. hurhur. so. i felt better. went home straight after work feelin moody. called simin darling. i jus love her so much. she never fails to cheer me up. :)

but i still cried on the bus. it made me feel darn stupid. sometimes i wonder y i am so damn bloody weak. i needa grow stronger. and stop crying and whining whenever im down. i needa grow up.

i haven talked to jon since ytd. i think im doing it right. or am i not?

maybe..

shall not think of such stuff for now. got more than enough to fret about. like the stupid test for issue class tml. and e essay due on fri. seriously i dun give a damn lah. i hate shawna tang's classes. argh. think im gonna slp soon. and im not so pissed anymore cos i've got back my ic. ahhh. yepp. im waiting and enduring. few more days to a 2 weeks break. i will survive. hahaha. muahhs everyone.

feelin emo.

2005-07-05T03:16:00.000-07:00

feeling real moody now. my brain cells are depleting. i feel so broken up.

wat e fuck am i doing? i need to noe. i hate growing up. yet i wanna grow up. see. tts e fucking prob with me. i cant decide on wat i really wan.

i shall not think about this matter anymore. who gives a fuck anyway. 3 words. life's like tt. 3 more words. it goes on.

ha.

think im feeling cranky alr. cant help it lah. god damned hormones are killin me again. oh right. glad ah mei's still online talking to me. love u lah ah mei. muahhss.

think im sinful. i always hurt pple. nice pple. :/ seriously i never meant to hurt these pple. i swear. :/ im really really sorry. i noe u'll read this. i jus wanna tell u im sorry. gimme some time to really get things right alright. argh. i dunno wat i've done to deserve u. im sorry. i noe sorry doesnt help. but for now, tts e only thing i can do. this is for u. mr jon hong. i'll miss u.

and the 20 smacks in ur arse still counts. :)

hmm. right. wenta sch today. at 8am. darn tired. slept through 2 hrs of socpsy lecture. seriously slept. and i drooled i think. hur. den i went home cos i was really too tired alr. not feelin ok. took a cab with nana. was talking to jon till bout 2 b4 i fell asleep. he went town to teach his fren how to play guitar. siao. pissed me off. hhrmph. but den again, it was me who felt simply too lazy to move lah. i get pek chek damn easily. shit. den i was so pissed tt i fell into a deep slp. haha. so corny. i slept till about 9. woke up in intervals but was still feelin pissed to reply jon. so mean. but i was pretty worried when he told me he bled again. siao. so frrreeaky. he went hosp. i slacked at home, watched tv till about 2230 den i went to meet jon at petir coffee shop to eat. heh. and then we walked home. siao. so far. and here i am, at 3am in the morning, blogging. this time i think its really siao. siao. siao. haha. got work tml! damn. :( nvm. for my shopping trips i will work hard. :D

its so quiet now. im feeling kinda cold. e breeze is making me feel so alone.

everything's gonna be ok, right?

oh. i din forget. happy 17th birthday to u, shushu. i miss u.

:)

2005-07-04T01:16:00.000-07:00

I MISS U LAOPO.
I LOVE U.
MUAHSS.
thanks for coming and talk to me today tho its jus for awhile.
see ya on 16th july. our date. :)

AH MEI!
I'LL BE THERE FOR U!!!
I NOE U'RE FREE NOW LAHH.
LOVELOVE YOU.
MUAHMUAH.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.

BE HAPPY SIMIN DARLING.
U NEEDNT PSYCHO URSELF TO BE HAPPY.
JUS LIKE U DUN NEED MY GOOD LUCK FOR UR TEST.
HEH.
HUGS.
I MISSED U.
LOTS.
REALLY. :)

fuckin stupid day.

2005-07-04T01:08:00.000-07:00

WORK IS FUCKING STUPID.

i hope jon reads this. i noe he will. i dun care. FUCK FUCK FUCK. i dun care. it isnt in our pact to not use vulgarities in blogs. =P asshole. im so damn pissed today! AAAAHHHHHH. knn lah.

heh. shit man. i am talking to jon now. and he is pissing me off more. siao.

ok. wenta work today. din have e keys. stupid. enci came down to pass me the keys. argh. so freakin guilty lah. she wasted 17 bucks to come down. was really tired. :( nth much happened today. jus moody. simin and ah mei came find me at night. we din go anywhere lah.. simin took 171 with me. yeahh. kinda annoyed lah. i wan my IC back. fuck it. my shoulder hurts from the tan ytd. i dunno wat e hell is annoying me lah. seriously. i need anger management lessons. i need pills to control my hormones. i feel so... i dunno wat words i can use to describe myself. haha.

and jon hon. u owe me five smacks in ur arse. :D im da ultimate winner.

now im happy.

u sicko.

fuckkkkk u.

beautiful SATURDAY.

2005-07-03T04:52:00.000-07:00

wOohOo. saturday!!! and i dun have ta work! i am so fuckin happy. hahaha. woke up early today and went to sentosa with t110 girlies. was quite fun there lah. e weather was good, e company was great.. but there wasnt any hunks! damn! ha. we ate at sakae sushi at harbourfront centre. so fuckin full. shit it im so vulgar. haha. ok. shall rephrase it. we ate at sakae sushi and harboufront centre. so er.. damn full. haha. den we went town to shop.. bought stuff. really tired. went n.y.d.c to have mudpie. yummAY! haha. siao! and we went to princep st straight after. had fun with t110 lah. they rock my ass. hurhur. we drank and went real high. u horneh bitchesssss. bahahaha. -evil laughs- met jon and shirley and went youth park to talk cock. i think i fell asleep. ended up at rocky master with jon's frens. did nth much. argh. tired. tired. tired. dunno wat to say anymore. zZz

hurhur

2005-07-01T21:27:00.000-07:00

hurhur. today we din have socpsy classes!!! wOohOo. so happy. i dun like DANNY BOEY. cher cher! need me help u scratch ur dick? hahahhaaha. =X hmm. but i stayed in sch till 4 plus 5 to finish e stupid reference assignment. damn! it was pretty tough. haha. and i went home and fell asleep. jon, jaz, nana all called me. i think. but i couldnt wake. hahaha. so pig. hurhur. wanted to get out alr. den shuying had to go to her grandma's place. and nana din wan to go out tonight anymore. and. im lazy. nvm. shall decide later.. the night is still young.. hahaha. we're going sentosa tml! heh. it better not rain. or i'll scream e rain away. haha. my ASS HURTS! nvm. i guess u'll always have to sacrifice for a nice ass. ahaha. check my J. Lo ass. woohoo. lick it babeh! :D sam is so excited to wave to e oil tankers. haa. =X shutting my crap. -gone-

call me J.Lo pls. :D

2005-07-01T01:36:00.000-07:00

ok. thu. 3 hrs of writcom followed by 3 hrs of speechcom. damn. i slept at 5 e night b4, and i really didnt wan to wake 2day. ;/ argh. i wanna slp. in e end i still went though. and.. think i probably did badly for my test, but i dun give a damn lah. haha. den.. wat else. aiya lessons are so fucked up. i met liling at westmall today. she was with xiaowen and her new guy, i think. heh. i miss her. them. alot. :/ we- nana, shuying, felly, aud, sam and LOSER jaz went westmall together. hahaha. oopsie im sooo fuckin mean lah. plus vulgar. hurhur. ok. jaz lost her 1st time to westmall to e other 6 of us. hahaha. wtf. nvm. we ate at swensens. yummy. damn nice lahh. but sinful. ahha. it was pretty funny there lah. these girls rock my arse man. :) damn noisy. i was like e most quiet girl in my class lah! =X heh. den.. me, nana and aud went cycling! i felt so healthy eh. ahha. but i was like damn fuckin tired now. esp my arse. told ya these girls rock my arse. hahaha. aiya. dun feel like typing anymore alr. ahaha. shall go to bed soon. zZz

hmm

2005-06-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

im in class! ending soon. heh. im counting down.. bored. gonna fall asleep alr. yawns. hmm. nothing much recently lah. jus damn busy. like so many things, so lil time. hai. oh well. i din mean to like have so many stuff to do right. hai. sch and work is like enough to kill me lah. with all e projects and assignments.. moreover im workin like 2 days per week. damn tiring lahh. =/ i dun even have enough time to rest.. i need time for my girlies too right. hai. damn it lah. cant seem to manage my time well. hhrmph. shit. gotta run. shall update soon. i hope. ha. fuck u all man. =D

heh~

2005-06-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

hmm. yeah yeah yeahh yeahh yeahh. haha think im crazy. i really really love sch now. woo. yeah man yeahh yeahh yeahh yeahh yEaaHh. i miss everyone soooooo MUCH!!! yepp. i shall now announce this SHOCKING news to everyone. MISS WONG WEI LING LYNN is now e class rep for writcom. HAHAHHA. see! i AM RESPONSIBLE. =D think patrick is kinda like blind or sth. heh. i jus love my classmates soooo much. for laughing at my corniness. yeahh. if there's actually such a word laa. unfortunately, im sick today. and i found it a waste not to use my MC, hence, i stayed at home to rest.. :) so much for being in love with sch. hurhur. alrite. sch, work, fun, laughter, peace, joy, frens is all dat fills my life. think im crapping all over again. shall stop here. e renovations are killing me. damn whichever household dat is so damn freakin rich to renovate AGAIN. ARGH. payday's coming!!!

im backiiiiieeee!

2005-05-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

heyhey anyone missed me? haha alrite man. im e old lazy girl. who doesnt wanna blog. heh. no time la. too busy with everything. work, sch, play. heh. yepp. sch started alr. its quite alrite. cos nana's in my class! so happy. to have her around. can bitch around. =P im so busy with work and play dat i haven even like take e photo for my np student card. and my ez link. ahha alrite. no time to blog too. im a happy kid. will update soon. hugshugs

hmm.

2005-03-25T02:09:00.000-08:00

today i was late when i went to meet jieying... late. again. hai. my stupid habit. argh. den we walked around at far east. saw nth we liked. only skirts from brosproduct, which is coincidentally ben's cousin's shop. was pissed at benny today. hhrmph. dunno y. hai. think im pretty mean to him. oh well.. i warned him. :( nvm. in e end it was ok laa. we walked to paragon. i wanted to get dior's blusher, but realised its not dat nice afterall. den din get it. nth we fancied at heeren or cine. bored! we took photos. i like them. haven took photos with jy for quite some time le.. =D den we walked to PS lehh! damn! i was so tired. haha. and den 2 of us acted like ah lians! we hailed a cab before e taxi stand cos e queue was too long. haha oh man. =X went meet my papa at great world. he bought me hp. 7270. i took a long time deciding between 7610, 6670 and 7270. i like this design alot alot. but e functions is nth comparable to the other 2. and it's more expensive lehh. im like payin for e design. hai. but i got it anyway. :( hope i wun regret. dad and jy and shopkeeper keep asking me get one of e other 2 but i dun like! they're jus so bulky lor. yuckk. papa sent us to bugis den we shopped there lor. den jy went home, i went timah meet benny. played pool la. den we took cab home. ok took cab to my house. den he took back to timah meet ah chou and helong winston to play billiard. too bad i had to go home cos tml is my 1st day of work. hee think i should go to bed le. well. anyone reading this, i'll be officaially working at cine level one shoppin cart at e entrance pls do drop by to support me, or gossip with me. ahha. yep. got to run! i love jy. hee. workin 12 hrs tml! gosh!

i died. and came back alive!

2005-03-24T00:58:00.000-08:00

today's a nice day. cos i died ytd, and slept till about 2 today. woohoo! felt so energetic!!! i woke up, den i nuah on my bed, den went out to eat breakfast in e living room, and nuah there again. hahaha. i think im a lazy bum. oh well. =D nvm. i met alvin den we shopped at bugis. so fun wor... benny was kinda paranoid when i din pick up his call. hmm. well i was busy preparing to go out cos i was stil at home when alv reached bugis! sorry benny. :( anyway i was pissed today too. cos it rained. ARGH! wasted 10 bucks on cab fare. damn it. hee. oopsie. im so vulgar. hmm. had fun today. cant wait for tml!!! ha. going out with jy. yay! ha. alritey. shall update tml again. i miss laopo! hha. dunno y. i miss amanda too. ta da. write again tml.

dying..

2005-03-23T00:09:00.000-08:00

im feelin really tired now... like totally drained outta energy. dunno y. went out play bball with jessie for a while and benny bunny came down find me. we did some chinese stuff together. totally unbelievable. we tried speakin in mandarin a few days ago too. dumb. how bored can we get. hmmm. ben's jacketS are stil with me. duh. so heavy. so tired now. think im gonna break down anytime. im really really feelin weak. lethargic. dying. going off le. think i'll slp alot tml.

thoughts..

2005-03-22T13:12:00.000-08:00

hmm. i jus looked at e dates. and realised dat i haven blogged for many many days. im not dat busy, am i? im jus plain lazy. well. many things happened. too much for me to write them all ouot. i wouldnt wan to be jus describing my life out. HURHUR. ok i sound moody, yet my mean streak is still on e move. tsk tsk. jus came back from mass com interview. think i screwed it up. but i dun give a damn anymore. life's like dat. business studies doesnt sound too bad anyway. and. actually i wonder if pple frequent my blog... mebbie they did. and they stopped cos they find nothin interesting here. hmmm. wateva. think im crappin. promise to blog more frequently laaa.

beachy girls. =D

2005-03-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

yes i noe i noe. i was supposed to go to e airport in e morn, but i was really too tired laaa. :( -whines- ha. nvm in e end i went to sentosa with jy and xinle. woo. was so fun. :D we reached there at about one.. and saw no sun. ok i was exaggerating. hai. guess wat? we were welcomed by e gentle loving sunshine. ARGH! dats not wat we wanted! :( nvm. we jus tried to sun tan in e oh-so-lovable sun. and got pissed. ahha. den this lady came and asked if i wanna join her agency for this ad for a condo. wanna take pic of my backview in swim wear. HURHUR. can u imagine seeing me and my fats on tv or newspaper? ha. i would laugh if i see someone like dat on an ad. den. in e end, we jus try to kill time by takin lotsa photos, read magazine, gossip... but it was still bored. ha. guess who's our saviour? a bunch of scary lookin guys. with tattoos all over em. woo. im freaked out. HAHA. think im crazy. they jus came, ask if they could make frenz. we didnt really wan to, but...well.. we were bored. and moreover, making frenz wouldnt kill rite? after all we're 3 bachelorettes. aahah. =P we din agree to make frenz la, jus say have fun together. hee. played touch rugby and bball. nice. :D and tiring. but far more interesting den jus e 3 of us wonderin wat can we do to kill boredom. so. i made new frenz today! haha. ok. actually i only stayed in touch with one. he's ben. ben. benjamin. he's 20. currently in NS. location-cck. dats all i noe. haha. never intend to noe more too. =PpP woo. now i noe 2 bens. ben ben ben. nono. i noe 4. 4 ben.s! 2 benedicts 2 benjamins. ahaha. interesting aint it? =D alritey. done.

ajdfinvdsljdsfjaiijoijdlsadsjaghudua;erf,knd

2005-03-04T02:11:00.000-08:00

totally fucked up. scram. scram. scram.

.

2005-03-03T02:39:00.000-08:00

im feelin pretty down now. jus felt sore about my results, though i've got wat i wanted, but... im not qualified for e course i wanna go into. damn english oral. :( im feelin so fucked up. really fucked up. wanna scream and yell and kick someone or break sth. fuck fuck fuck. argh. i jus cant fall asleep. its already turning 3. i cant i cant i cant. i feel fucked up. someone save me? oh fuck. why am i saying these? argh. ok fine. i shall make myself feel better. gonna yell. AAAHHHHH. guess i've said enough times of fuck today. gonna stop blogging.

see. im a hardworking girl...

2005-02-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

hee. yeeah baby. haha. im hardworking! i blogged AGAIN! yay. actually it was outta boredom. hai. so sick. im not working anymore.. jus slacking my life away lo... yawnz. today i slept till about 2 den i jus ate my fave bread. tuna and cheese, and watched tv... played with snowy, den went out le lo.. went bpcc, den rain. ta ma de. damnn it. ahha so pissed. den went bp plaza develop photos, eat dinner... den meet ah dar. den he came over my place and we read a book together. haha. dar went home den i jus came online. hai... sick. feel like a loser. argh. tml going back to e shop to get my pay. ha. happy! den right now im eating e hello kitty sweet dar bought for me. hee. okok. gotta run.

woohoo

2005-02-24T03:21:00.000-08:00

wow. arent u guys glad to see me creating one entry FINALLY? hahaha. after such a long time, i've jus realised, and started to feel ashamed of my blog. haha. soooo updated. =X dun na! im busy ma... nah la. actually im lazy. i noe u all noe dat. bah. hmmm. im doing ok. but i miss ue. and her clumsy acts. i miss ting. esp her witty advice, though i've never seem to listened once. =X and cold jokes. :D i miss u laopo. our silent night. aww..:( and i miss sausage wen too. bahahaha. miss e bullying part. =X haihaihai. so much for working. damn. and i think i;ve been spending quite alot. shucks. i've already got a money saving plan in mind. hope it'll be successful. though i doubt so. argh. kk. i love e way how life is going now. i dun wanna get my results n feel so upset. argh. watever. i dun wanna scare u, yes u whos currently reading my dumb blog rite now. ahah. no worries. SMILE. hahaha. okokok its getting late. time i go to bed. will try to write more stuff again. and more frequently. bah. -gone-

blah. crappy.

2005-01-18T02:52:00.000-08:00

i jus read nana's blog. 1st time going into her blog. weird huh. jus suddenly rmb dat she reads my blog quite regularly, leavin down some comments every now n den. hmm. nana, u're real cool. =P love e way u are. haha. yep. dun get so pissed laaaaaa.... :D be mean. to pple, it'll make u feel better. haha. ok im mean. i am sooooo lazy to type. i hate u liang wei sheng. u asshole. always make me so moody. but yet i love u so. i do. i noe u idiot spy on me. read my blog. now i wan u to read this. i love u. asshole.

tiredddddddd-ed lynnie.

2005-01-12T12:15:00.000-08:00

ARGH! work's pretty tiring.. hai. but quite fun laaa. to have amanda with me =D she's so funny. yeah... die i forgot to pass a msg to them. sure gonna get lectured de. sian. k going fer work soon... lazy to blog la. no life also. jus go work, den go out den go home. haha. im a LOSER. unlike ue... filled with life. hee. =X

perfect day. come near and i'll bite.

2005-01-10T01:39:00.000-08:00

im feelin down and sore. but who can save me. no one. no one can save me. pple whom i tot could save me tried to. but i din listen. i cant help it. i cant. i cant. im helpless. im stupid. im lousy. vulnerable. useless. i wish i never had. sometimes. why am i saying this. everyone'll read this. they'll think im stupid. im lousy. im useless. they'll see another side of me. argh. stop it stop it. i need help. badly. god save me pls. :(

9th. ninth. 9.T.H. NINTH.

2005-01-10T00:46:00.000-08:00

check it out. it's e NINTH. well. someone obviously didnt rmb an impt date like dat. wat more can i say. wat more can i ask fer. i've seen clearly wat i should've seen. feelin real low. really really low. i miss laopo. she always cheers me up. :(

blah blah blah.

2005-01-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

im PISSED. ANGRY. MAD. ok mebbie not. haha. crazy. lazy to blog le laaaa... jus wanna sae i miss laopo, miss xiaowen, miss nining, miss ue, miss huiting, miss kaixian, miss jieying... miss everyone la... cant finish such a long list. hai. nvm im a workaholic... i wanna go shoppin! i wan my pay! i wan e guess bag! hahaha. =X

par-tAy!

2005-01-07T00:59:00.000-08:00

hmmm, haha, okok. went work. which is totally sian. but ah dar came down acc me during muh break time, den we went scotts to eat ban mian and beef noodles.. and zion came after dat... =D den they 2 go gay gay while i go back to work. and after work we went to clarke quay. bahahah. went to this club.. one nite stand. corny name. yeah. e atmosphere was quite nice.. jus dat e waiter was really gay. ahaha he touched zion. ee. den we ate pizza there. i drank a lil beer only. dun wanna puke like how i did e other time. =X den we walked down to coco latte. it was like funkier there. but i wasnt really in e mood to dance. unless i was with girl frens. haha cos girls rock. =X so i jus sat with zion and play five ten. ii made him drink alot till he was seh. ahha. so mean leh me. oopsie. i fought with kenneth and zion and dar and benson KOR. sha hen lei lei. hai yo... hee. zion was really seh, den i chi his tofu. haha no la. =P it was quite fun, though i find it rather money wasting. yeah. den went to ah dar's place lo... slept till e next day. slept like a pig. den was damn late fer work. DER... haha. nvm. write back soon. this is one of e longer entries huh. hee.

IGNTS. =D

2005-01-01T03:24:00.000-08:00

oh muh goooooodness. happy new year...? weird. din feel like it's new year. its like everyone's starting sch soon, on e 3rd. and im pretty upset i wun get to feel e atmosphere of reopening of sch. argh. nvm. i chose this muhself. hai. gonna jus work and work. these few days got sick. hai. dammit. nvm. im really lazy to blog . shall stop here. argh. and i think i miss ue. haha. e meanie master. HAHAHA. e pool cheat master.

kgldsjflahfrowasnbfjk

2004-12-30T01:35:00.000-08:00

im a lazy girl who doesnt like to blog anymore. merry xmas and happy new year carmie. :D haha. i lurrrrrve u. muah. hahaha. ok im crazy. but i must really agree with u about e dream guy thing. think we'vegot e same taste. heehee. hair must be a lil curly and fine. mature. hairy legs. blah blah. kk im crazy really crazy. dun wanna blog anymore. tired.

dun wanna blog. =X

2004-12-22T01:26:00.000-08:00

hai dun feel like bloggin. ok went work, same. worked till 9.30 though, tired. saw ting ue and laopo, and jieying, sara and jiao wei. and suxian. and wei sheng. haha. so many pple in a day. wOoot. k go slp le. tml still gonna work. i jus ate tang yuan. :D -zZz-

im soooo soooo soooo tired.

2004-12-20T00:56:00.000-08:00

today's such a boring day. i wanted to slp right from e start of work. duhs.tml gonna work early.. hai. dunno wanna go chalet anot leh. dun have energy to go... yeah lo. hai dunno la but i changed shifts with evon le. nvm lo at most after work, i go shop by muhself lo. xmas shoppin. if i dun wanna go to e bbq... hai hai hai. feelin kinda... mixed up. about lotsa stuff. hai work study study work? etc etc... argh. so pissed. hate to wait fer bus to go home lo.. stupid 171. i waited like almost for 45 mins leh. den still no 171 in sight. and i noe wat dat means. when it comes along sure cant even board it de. so i took bus to newton lo. den change bus. hai. yup. home-d waiting fer yang to call.. hee. he said he'd. he's comin back on wed. cant wait. haha. can gossip with him. =D tml workin early think i better slp earlier. duhs. jus ate chips... -burps-

busy busy busy day...

2004-12-19T00:47:00.000-08:00

hmm. ya lo. today's a damn busy day fer me at work... so tired. non stop. haha. today someone told auntie dat i've got good working attitude. oh my gawd.. haha. i was like stunned. hee. quite a happy day today.. jus v tiring lo. eh. ok im feelin moody now. dunno y. newae, weisheng came down to far east to pass me back muh bag. haha. muh dear bag! WEE. was stunned too. one day dunno must be stunned fer how many times. well. hai. all's well and done with. yup. okok. im gonna.... stay online. i miss ue. hha e cheeko. thu we're going out, if nothin goes wrong. :D haha im gonna make ue shit. :D

:(:(:(

2004-12-18T02:47:00.000-08:00

haha im e irritating girl... who tells everyone i miss yang.. =X okok but i REALLY MISS HIM!!! hai hai hai. ok. today's a boring day... really so sian. work and work and work. hai... tired!!!!!!!! xmas's coming. kinda happy about it. gonna go xmas shoppin only when im having muh breaks. dammit. hai. hai hai hai. msging with yang now. we 2 waste money ah, sms from here to thai, and vice versa. haha. dun care la. :( hai hai hai wanna cry... come back la ship. :( haha i feel so bored. hee. k gonna jus stay online till im tired. he's gonna scold and nag at me if he noes im still up. hee. =X kk -gone-

aww man. :( i miss u i miss u i miss u.

2004-12-16T23:38:00.000-08:00

oh mi gosh.. haha. i miss yang. :( haha nvm but i felt so happy when i received his msg... all e way from thailand. :D really so happy wor... haha he missed me too! die. ahaha. eh.. this morn he called me so early... like 9 lo. he was at airport le. hai. ytd we half slpt half sms eh. so funny, and we dreamt of each other... bahaahahha. ok i noe im irritating. but i jus wanna sae la. laaaaaaaaa. erng...... haha. yeah. hai hai hai. aww i wanna cry... really miss him already. nvm, one week will be over soon. and he promised to call during e weekend. haha. :D ok shall stop here. WEEWEEWEE!!!!!

p.s. thx alvin, fer ur charles and keith slippers. :D haha. i love it.

im sooooooooo happy. and sad. :( :) :|

2004-12-16T02:26:00.000-08:00

ok finally. OFF DAY!!! hha actually wanna go shoppin with eileenie de, but den i woke up v late cos i went to junlin's house to play mahjong till 5.. haha. won only 5 bucks. argh. dumb. hahaah. alritey... den in e end, i met ue wen, yang, junlin to play ball.. but it rained! dumb. but it was quite fun lo... carmie and xiaosi was there too... haha. yeah den we went cck food court to eat. ue's so cute. :D carmie went off while wen went fer dinner with her daddy, den left with ue, me yang and junlin. went play pool lo. haha... aww... love ue. =X hope yang and junlin wun read my blog, cos we cheated! haha. i'll jus point to sth den when they looked over, i jus gob one ball and hide it.. ahha. so fun. ue was kinda sehded when she realised wat i was doing... ue's pool amster wor. ahaha. so fun! i jus love ue. hahaha. w/o her clumsiness. =X alritey.. den we went home le lo. yang so mean, yet so nice. haha. his fren was at his place le lo, den he insisted on acc-ing me hm. *shy* haha. so sweet rite? gosh.. im melting. ok ENOUGH! =X haha. yeah lo. we walked home together... long and slow walk... so sad, cos he's leaving fer thailand with his team mates tml le. :( hai... no one left to acc me home, no one left to acc me when im bored, no one to rush me to go home, no one to come town buy movie tix and wait fer me to end work, no one to buy chocs fer me.....blahblahblah. haha ok i almost tied him up to a tree. :D yeah lo. :( hai ya hai ya. nvm la. he go thai be my shopping representative. hee.. kk im sooo tired. going to slp le. his poor fren left alone at his place. haha. :(:(

argh. sickly weakling lynnie.

2004-12-14T00:43:00.000-08:00

well i dun wanna blog cos i dun feel good. im kinda tired, and feverish. like dat time at bugis... ok, like e 2 times at bugis. once i really had fever e 2nd time, almost...argh. headache. :( but im not feelin as bad as i felt e day before. cos boon haur brought us out. ahaha. went eat marche, den.. play pool... yeah. so fun. hai. k -gone-

2004-12-12T00:25:00.000-08:00

oh wat a stupid day... i was late fer work! hai. sooo tired. hhrmph. hai dunno la. dun feel good. e bus was practically crawling lo. argh! idiot... hai den when i was going hm, it wasnt any better. argh. waited so damn long fer e bus... den stood all e way till near king albert park. argh. angree la. so sway de... worse still. dunno which ass hole keep calling my cell... make my batt flat. so pissed. either is someone keep calling, or must be e phone sot le... jason call and call... den jam my dumb phone... stupid jason. haha. ok enough of whining... at least i met up with eileenie today. hee. so happy. bahahaha. we were crapping. and gossipin. acting dumb... love u eileenie. haha. muah. let's go watch polar express and bet we'll laugh fer ten mins when dat scene shows... =X ok. dun be mean. i feel nice today. bought stuff fer my cuzzie... ya lo. haha. she leaving le. gonna miss her. i feel like going thailand, and hk, taiwan, japan, and aust. haha so dumb... i wanna go shopping! aaahhhh! nvm i still got a long hols.. :D

:(

2004-12-11T13:22:00.000-08:00

i realised i haven grumble about my aching body. awww.... :( jelly legs, scraped knees, bruised ass, cuts on my elbow, and an almost broken finger. :( hhrmph. haha. ok enough! im so happy. after whining. *whines whines whines* :D dearie, dun be annoyed. it's jus yuckkkkkkky guava face. EEK. definitely not as OKAY as u think, well, at least to me. =P

angree. :(

2004-12-11T00:59:00.000-08:00

hai. so angree.. STUPID FUCKING JASON. who ask u to keep calling me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hai my phone batt flat. :( den hai me mei you de go out with irene they all. :( really so angree. so angre so angre so angre so angre i cant stand it anymore!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to go ktv fer such a long time le lo, but no time. FUCK FUCK FUCK. im really so darn pissed off now. really VVVVVVVVV MAD> :( wanna cry!!!!!!!!!!! argh. nvm. next week... must must must. :( ARGH dunno la. feel sooooooo sway. really so sway. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. there's no end to this. im desperately feelin moody now. need pple to cheer me up. real badly. and dats definitely not u jason. u watch it.